Thursday, August 20, 2009

images of my past coolness

It takes a strong sense of self to parent teens.

It can get down right disheartening sometimes. The old self confidence can end up in the gutter.

Always being told you're "embarrassing" or "old" or "not cool".

Sometimes they don't need to say anything...just that look that they give you....you know what they are thinking....the same thoughts we had about our parents.

But I'm not like my parents (sorry dad) they were not cool (and I'm sure never were)! I can remember my teenagers years clearly, and I've tried to stay up on the latest trends in movies, clothes, and music. I was cool once! I was....

I tried once to tell them that I was once pretty cool....first they told me normal people don't say "cool" anymore, then they laughed a lot....I can tell they didn't believe me.


So I thought I'd pull out some old pics of me to show them how cool I used to be.
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Right out of high school I did some modeling....




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Played some professional hockey on the side....had to quit because it was hard on my teeth....



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I had a short but successful movie career....
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I'm sure you remember me in these blockbusters!!




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I dated Beckham for a while....but you know how it is....gets pretty old looking at someone extremely gorgeous day after day....so he dumped me.

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Had an amazing career as a rap artist....this was after I popped out a couple of kids so the sweat pants look was a good look for me....you may remember my hit "Ridin Dirty in My Mini Van"....it's was pretty "gangsta"


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then I decided I need to be doing something that really made a difference in this world (really... it was this or a Victoria Secret underwear model---that's the only pics they offered that I could paste my face on).


I did have those times that I'm not real proud of.....



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I don't know French and I'm a little frightened of what this sign might mean.


Oh and here is my all time low......


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being Paris' BFF. I will never show my kids this one!

If you'd like some help in the "hip" department with your kids you can visit this site too.

Have a great day you cool people you!


5 comments:

mcgee33 said...

I think the french means something like... mrs. I do not eat for 6 hours. Maybe I have not eaten or something like that???? Mange means to eat (if my French is correct). Great blog today though! I LOVED all the pictures of you! The first one hanging in the museum totally looks current! You haven't really changed at all! And I KNOW you are still cool (my kids said to say "you're real dirty")! So, Tori... you're real dirty dude.
~Elaine

Stereos and Souffles said...

Ridin dirty in my mini van! Great post! Chicago is one of my favorite cities, we try and make it up there once a year, as well as Kalamazoo, we've got family there.

McGillicutty said...

Hi there, thanks for finding my blog and commenting!!! This is hilarious!!! and just the type of thing your kids are gonna say..oh lame mama!!!!! Mine are young still but they already think I'm embarrassing (and I probably am) but who cares... that's my job!!!! Love it...I"ll be back!!

Kathy I. said...

This is sooo funny Tori!! I Love reading it...

Kathy

Sue said...

The french reads: Madame. I have not eaten for six days.
Tori this is great! I love the pictures of you! At first, I thought you learned to photoshop and I was impressed, especially the hockey player! To get that mask to go over your photoshoped face! I will have to check this site out! Maybe our yearbook class could have some fun with this! Thanks for sharing!
~Sue D.