Monday, August 3, 2009

get your hands off my facebook!

I have this on-going argument with my 4 kids.
Actually, I have quite a few, but I don't want to bore you.

We argue about proper facebook etiquette.

Apparently, listed in the areas that I'm "embarrassing" as the mother of teenagers, my facebook usage is right at the top....don't worry....I'm used to being the cause of blushes and rolling eyes....of being flat out told "OMGosh Mom! will you please just stop!" doesn't hurt my feeling anymore....sniff, sniff, sob....NOT!

See, Nae (my college senior) argues with me that facebook was originally developed for her age kids-to keep in touch (yeah,I know that, so what?) and that now all these old people are getting in on it. And we use it all wrong!

My other kids agree, apparently they think that all the commenting we do on each others posts is silly (not their word but mine- of course). Or the conversations we have on each others "walls" is not right. Oh! and saying what we are doing in our status and leaving it up.....the list goes on and on.....

If you ask me (and you're here reading my blog, so....) facebook is so much more useful to us "old" people. I've been in touch with people I haven't seen or talked to in 20+ kids, on the other hand, are checking up on people they saw in school or at the mall 2 hours ago.

Facebook has been great, no only for reconnecting to those people I haven't seen in forever but also for easing the pain of relocating. Seeing the faces and "on goings" of my friends back home makes me feel a little less lonely for them as compared to past moves I experienced.

I can only imagine how great facebook would have been during those days when my kids were tots and I felt like a prisoner in my own home...

I do have my own personal "rules of facebook decorum".

Here's a few.

#1. I don't friend request my kids friends ( I do enjoy embarrassing my kids on purpose once and a while {don't tell them that, I'll deny it...yes I will!} but I can just imagine the fall out...."Mom my friends want to know why you are friend requesting them...are you trying to kill me? Please stop!"). I do have a few of my kids friends, but they requested me....I'll admit, when I get that request I feel "oh so cool"....they like me....they must really like me!.....actually it's probably for other reasons (see #3).

#2 I don't facebook stalk my kids...that's a lie...I do and it's SOOO fun!....sorry, I'm being embarrassing. I'll stop now.

#3 I don't friend request people just to get a really high number of friends...I have a feeling I've been requested for that reason by others (see #1)....but that's ok.

#4 I don't publish every single thing I do....some stuff-- if people wanna see it they'll find it in my profile eventually. I think of fb as my own personal area to decorate....since my husband won't let me at home (but that's a whole other blog post).

Don't get me wrong, I think facebook is great for my kids too (most of the time)...ok wait....reconsidering that....

Facebook is good for the kids headed off to college to stay in touch. I'm not very convinced it is beneficial to my middle/high school kids. I think they probably see more junk than is helpful.

Maybe my kids need to be a little more grateful that I've even allowed them to have a facebook page! Yeah! And if their gonna keep insulting me on how I use my facebook maybe I'll just take theirs away! Yeah! I have the power....yes I do...

What I'd like is for us to all live in facebook harmony. You use your facebook however you want and I'll use my facebook however I want. An "old, embarrassing, totally uncool" mom can dream (can't she?).


Crazy 'bout Him said...

A Facebook Xanadu if you will..

mommyto3kiddos said...

I was torn, it's good for college students, good for people out of high school 10+ years, but when I was out of work and home by myself w/Malin & Mariska, it was sooo nice to have an outlet to the outside world! I did vote for the 10+ years though. :P

Anonymous said...

I am not a poster, I am a reader only. So I guess I am to old! KT

mcgee33 said...

I TOTALLY agree with you Tori! We should be able to use it anyway we want to. The long comments on the posts are hilarious and I LOVE the silly conversations! Why do others get to dictate how to use something... the kids these days are so uptight and all about the 'right' way to do something! They need to think outside the box a little... like their cool moms!
~Elaine K.

rxBambi said...

I went thru the same discussions with my teenagers. Besides, if I hadn't been on fb I probably wouldn't have ended up going to my hs reunion last weekend. I love it and have reconnected with about a zillion old friends since then. Although I have to admit, since I started blogging my fb time as dropped dramatically!!

Anti-Supermom said...

This post reminds me of the Verzion cell phone commercial where the kids are all mad at the parents for texting/twitting/facebooking too much.

I think I will need to bookmark this post!

Anonymous said...

We have the exact same fb rules! I was so happy when I learned to block the news feed from people who posted every hour - "I'm going for a walk." "I'm getting a haircut." "I'm going to the bathroom." "I'm breathing." I love 'em, but I don't want to know that much about 'em. Wendy

Eclipsed said...

It's funny, I've been trying to get my mom on fb for a while. Maybe I'll show her this blog post to help change her mind.

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

One Cluttered Brain said...

I like your take on Facebook. I like it for the connections as well. I have "found" alot of my old friends this way.

(I'm just going though some of your old posts. You are new to my reader and all and I like the way you write. Hope we can be good blogging buddys...)