Thursday, July 9, 2009

Meijer and Captain Cash Register

I wasn't gonna do it....
but I'm there almost everyday.
The temptation is too strong....
I'm sure I'll get used to it.

but it's driving me crazy so I'm just gonna say it
I hate my new Meijer!!!

sound silly? I'm thinking that right now. But I don't really have anything else to write about today, so why not....

I grew up with Meijer. Meijer is a comforting place for me (now you're really getting concerned about my sanity right?). Some of my earliest childhood memories are in Meijer...
shopping there with my mom....riding "Penny" the brown horse....that dutch guy stretching the dollar on the front of the store (if you're from Holland, you know what I'm talking about).

I remember getting lost in Meijer once when I was really little. My mom had this pink coat with a belt and I would hang onto to that belt while I looked at things in the store (see, boxes were distracting for me even as a little kid....) anyways....somehow we got separated. I was still holding the belt but she was gone. Someone found me crying an took me to the customer service desk. I recognized the lady at the customer service desk as someone my dad would say 'Hi' to when I was with him in the store....My dad worked for NCR and worked on the cash registers in the Meijer store....I remember being so proud of the fact that my dad could fix those complicated machines and he knew everyone there by name....kinda like a super hero....really! that's what I used to think back then....Captain Cash Register to the rescue!!! (hee hee sorry dad).
Anyways, by the time my mom came to get me, I was arguing with that service desk lady. I insisted that she knew my dad, cuz EVERYONE knew MY dad! Meijer was a safe place....I wouldn't even have to worry about getting lost in there....cuz my super hero dad would rescue me.

When we moved to South Carolina I went through Meijer withdrawls. I tried really hard to fit in down at the "Piggly Wiggly".....oh but it was tourture!! (Piggly Wiggly!!! come on! who in their right mind would name a store Piggly Wiggly!!!!). And the language barrier....oh my! My first time shopping there, I walked in the store, acting all casual (didn't want anyone knowing it's my first time) and the greeter lady stops me.....(use your imagination and think of the worst southern drawl you've ever heard and apply it here)"Hi Daaarrllinn....You want a Buuuugggie?" She could have been speaking Japanese....I didn't understand a word she said. But you know how awkward it is when you can't understand someone, you don't want to offend them by saying "I can't understand you!!" So I used the casual "I'm sorry?" and pretended I just didn't hear her (see how handy that deaf ear comes in?). She says it again, increasing the volume and slowing each word.....making the southern drawl even worse "" Ok, so this time I deciphered most of it but what the heck is a "bhhhhuuuugggiiiieeee?" Now confusion has uncontrollably spread across my face....there's no hiding it now....I'm new here, a foreigner. She smiles a compassionate smile and says "Darlin, where are you from?" "Michigan" I say apologetically (later I think why do I feel like I need to apologize?) She pulls a shopping cart out of the rack and pushes it towards me and says "Don't you worry Daaarlllinn....You live here for a couple months and you'll lose that horrible Michigan accent!"

Anyways, I loved my old Meijer in Kalamazoo. I knew where everything was. I knew lots of the workers by name....which my kids find completely embarrassing....but my best friend, Lori, works there and when I join her for lunches and breaks and stuff, you meet like I said...I'm there almost everyday.

I was comforted knowing that I was moving to a place that had Meijer. I wouldn't have to learn a whole new store like in the south. But Lori warned me, she said Chicago area Meijers are different. She said they function different, are set up different....don't have to follow the Michigan rules, I guess. And she was right. Nothing is in the "right" place. It's layed out all funny (why is the pop in the same isle as the butter? and so far away from the chips?) It's just WRONG! So that's why Tony and I ventured out to a new market the other day (See "Perennial Pete Part Two"). And I actually felt like I was cheating on my Meijer....I've been so loyal in the past....avoiding Walmart and Sam's Club like they are evil (which they kinda are....I told runs deep).

I guess I'll give it some more time. I'm sure I'll adapt.....eventually. Sigh...I wish my super hero dad was here to help me.


Anonymous said...


Very nice. I remember MY Pony and the guy making the dollar stretch. Didn't we all get lost at Meijers? Loved how you could get tortillas and a snow shovel in the same store.

I now live in the South and like the piggly wiggly although one isn't near me. Dig the Pig.

We have Lowes and Food Lion near me. This made me laugh. Have a great day. Don't become a Bear fan...the Lions will win one day... or is that win one game? You know...

Go Lions!


managizzle said...

Im still mad they closed the meijer on lakewood in Holland!

Rob Noack said...

I never realized how much we relied on Meijers until we didnt have one. CT seems to be loaded with really bad WalMarts and Stop and Shops.