living happily in the now

I was out with my 15 y/o daughter, Mac, shopping the other day. She was looking for a gift for one of her friends back in kzoo....that would be Joe....who, btw, still owes me for the window he broke at our condo because he was trying to get in to our home by throwing "pebbles"....teenage boys....not real "thinkers".

Mac was dying to show me this really cool store in our little town.

Kind of a hippie kinda place.....a vinyl record store mainly (I'm surprised Mac even knows what a record is).....you could buy 33's, 45's, or LP's (and others I'm sure)....they had a nice selection of t-shirts, posters (fuzzy ones too....?), incense (hmmm), jewelry, lighters (just for the incense I'm sure!), ect....and they also had lots of CD's, DVD's too.

I had a great time looking through their selection of music and was surprised they had such variety. I'm an alternative kinda gal and saw they had lots of my favorite groups. I was also shocked by some of the prices for the collector albums....probably because I know nothing about this area....but hundreds of dollars for a Pink Floyd album?....which I swear I have at home! (excuse me while I dig thru some boxes)....

Mac made her selection....a Bob Marley poster....which the guy behind the counter seemed impressed that a young blonde proper looking girl would choose to buy. Imagine "Chong" of "Cheech and Chong"....that was the guy behind the counter....same type of voice and mannerisms. "you redecorating your room or something, sweetheart?" he asked.....Mac not wanting to get into the whole story cuz I think she's a little creeped out, says "um...yeah" as she's counting out her money. "Cool man!!" he says enthusiastically....like he's just witnessed another innocent being sucked into the "Bob Marley vortex". "What college do you go to?" he asks her. I watch as Mac's face lights up a little....and she smiles....."I'm still in high school". "Ah...right... man...." he says bobbing his head and looks at me "so hard to tell now-a-days with these youngster!". "Yeah" I agree.

On the drive home, Mac happily says "I can't believe he thought I was in college!" And I say "Yeah, I remember when that used to happen to me". And I think back to those days.....when a waitress gave me the wine list when a boyfriend took me out to a fancy dinner in 10th grade.....or how I could always fool those Cedar Point workers in their red and blue outfits, at the "guess my age booth". I was so happy to be thought of as older.


But when did that change? Exactly what age was I....22?....25? When did I start wanting looking younger for my age? When did I start getting that urge to kiss the waitress when she asked for my ID? Or hug that stranger who says "I can't believe you have a daughter in college" ?

I can distinctively remember a 3rd grader making a comment on me being old when I was in my early 30's. I was helping in a Sunday school class and had a group of about 6 little girls. "you think I'm old?" I asked her....this was the first time in my life anyone ever called me old....and I was a little shocked. "How old do you think I am?" I asked while looking at all their cute little faces. The first one shouts out "53" and they all take turns shattering my ego....the youngest anyone guessed was "45" and one little snot nosed brat thought I was "70"....oh sorry!

Why is it that when we're young we want to be old and when we get older we want to be younger? Was there ever an age where I was just happy in the "now"? I'm sure it was somewhere in the 20's. I had a nice conversation with my 20 year old daughter, Nae, this morning (who told me that some of her coworkers are reading this blog.....Hello out there in Colorado Springs!!!!.....if you want some dirt on Nae....I take bribes....just don't tell her I said that....she never reads this so I'm safe). Anyways....I'm hoping she is happily living in the "now" at her age. It goes by way too fast.

and one more thing before you go......"peace man"...