Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Happy Birthday to ME!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Last night I had a dream.

My body parts were all discussing who had it the toughest over these past 40 years.



My feet were the first to complain (they ALWAYS are)
and for some reason they sound like a little old Jewish man...


"Oi Vay! I'm dying here! Did you see those purple pointed things she crammed me into over the weekend? What a Yonkel!"


My back (who sounds a New York cabbie) interrupted


"Give me a ******* break!" (I'm always having to censor him)"You have no idea what real pain is! And what? you complain a little and she puts you up....babies you....rubs your sorry butt! What does she do to help me? Nada! that's what! She just keeps goin..."


Then my hands chime in "Darlings....(they sounds like Zsa Zsa Gabor)

soundoflife.net

no one works like me! I should be pampered! Manicures...expensive lotions...rings on every finger! But NO! I don't even get rubber gloves when she cleans! Everyone sees me and now *gasp*! Age spots! Makes me what to slap her!

My uterus tries to put in her two cents "ahem"....it's hard to tell what she even sounds like because everyone shouts in unison "Oh just shut up!" My uterus tends to be a little whiny and no one likes a whiner!

Then my brain (who sounds like....well, it sounds like Me! Duh!) "you guys need to simmer down! At least you guys get a break when she sleeps for 7 or 8 hours! I'm like the Energizer Bunny or Rodney Dangerfield or whoever! I never get a break! Look at me now! Even dreaming I have to keep the peace! And HELLO!?! How bout a little ADD medicine here? You think I like living like this? Geez...."

It went on and on all night long. My internal organs put in a few thoughts about exercise and eating healthier....but I ignored them.

Eventually my brain and I decided to just pretend I'm turning 29 today.....

14 comments:

Pam said...

Happy Birthday! I like your solution. I've been celebrating my 29 birthday for 16 years (OK, stop trying to do the math in your head!). Works for me!

MamaOtwins+1 said...

Happy Birthday you young 29 yr old thing!

Stopping by from Sits

mommyto3kiddos said...

Happy, happy birthday, to you, to you, to you!! I love all the voices too. :P

Mrs. Sarcasm said...

Happy Birthday to all your body parts/voices...wait is that a little weird coming from a stranger! Thanks you for all your comments on my blog, you are, without ever meeting you, an amazing person!! Oh and by your picture, I totally thought you were at the most 35!! Hope you are the center of attention today and always!!!

Deborah said...

Hey, Happy Birthday! I hope you and your body parts have a great year ahead! Debbie
PS Go get a manicure!

Anonymous said...

Tori, I love reading your blog! I can relate to so many things that you write about. Keep it up, and Happy Birthday!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday to my #1 daughter! I love you!

Musings of the Mrs. said...

Great Birthday post! Happy Birthday to you!

MaRiN said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog...looks like I picked a great day to stop in and say hi and Happy Birthday! Have a great one!

Llama said...

AWWWW! Sooo cute! happy birthday!!!! enjoy!

Sobrina Tung said...

Happy Birthday!! Hope you had a lovely day and night :)

Jessica said...

Happy birthday! I hope you had a wonderful day and made lots of extravagant bithday wishes. God bless!

Karine said...

I am late but happy birthday!

Lucky Girl said...

Don't worry, you are still a darling "baby girl", thanks for letting us have a glimpse of your reasoning skills! :)

If it brings you any comfort,you are not alone. This post sounds a lot like what goes on in my head too.