Ace's new trick

Something is going on with Ace.

I'm not sure what it is.

All of the sudden, it seems, he is a genius dog.

And I don't say that to brag.

It's just a little eerie.

He seems to be absorbing massive amounts of information.

You can see it in his eyes.

And preforming new tricks.

After just showing him once or twice.

Several tricks a day, in fact.

Even the commands he obeys while at the dog park amaze people.

Yesterday morning I picked up his paw and said "Hi-five Ace" and slapped his paw against my hand.

Then I put my hand up and said "Hi-five Ace" and he did it exactly like I showed him.

On the first try.

I was pretty amazed.

I had tried to teach him "shake" a while back.

He just looked at me like I was an idiot.

I shrugged, maybe "Hi-five" is cooler so he's willing to do it.

We practiced it a few more times.

Later that day, after I had showed everyone and their grandma Ace's new trick, Nae came home.

I thought she'd get a kick out of it.

"Watch this" I said all excited.

I knelt down in front of Ace.

"Hi-five" I commanded.

Ace just looked at me.

"Hi-five" I commanded again.

He continued to stare at me.

And I swear, all of the sudden, I saw impatience in those eyes.

Along with a little embarrassment and defiance.

Hey, I've had 4 teens, I know that look when I see it.

I sat there with my hand in the air "hanging" (yes, it's even awkward with a dog).

And Ace continued to stare at me.

Then he looked over at Nae.

Then back at me again with the same impatient-embarrassed-defiant look.

As if to say "Enough all ready! This is the lamest trick ever! How many times are you going to force me to do this? It's embarrassing!"

I'm sure if he could have rolled his eyes, he would have.

He never did preform "Hi-five" for Nae last night.

But he has done it for me today.


I'm pretty sure he is humoring me.
It was a pretty stupid trick after all.

how people find my blog (ie. weird google searches)

When I started getting more serious about blogging someone kindly told me about Site Meter. It's a service that helps track visits to your blog.

I have the most basic level of this service (which is the free-you can spend money and find out a lot more!).

Site Meter lets me see how many visits I have per hour and per day. How long visitors looked at my blog and how many pages they looked at.

Sometimes I can see the country, state and city the visitors are from.

Sometimes I can see how they were referred to my blog.

What has been fun is seeing what words people type into google and end up here.

Sometimes it can be a little confusing (and disturbing)

I thought I'd share a few with you today.

Some gave me a chuckle and I hope they give you one too. (and there's nothing else going on today...)

my comments are in red.

~"I'm gonna blow my diet on vacation and die" (I know that feeling)

~"I got disowned now what do I do?" (it depends...if it was your teen disowning you then I say celebrate...you're doing something right!)

~"I lost my high school yearbook and now I can't find my mojo" (poor guy, I'm quite sure they didn't find any mojo here)

~"how to get back at your friend who is a *%#@&$!" (Yikes! I don't think I've ever talked about that before!)

~"the mission has failed, tell Sally I love her" (is this a song lyric or something?)

~"how to disown my daughter" (kinda sad)

~"all i wanna say is that we are going down" (hmmm. lyric again?)

~"things that make me angry" (does this have something to do with parenting teens?)

~"are doughnut trees real?" (uhhh, DUH! of course!)

~"that blog people like in kalamazoo" (I'm flattered but I'm sure not everyone in kzoo likes it, probably just my dear friends)

~"what's that foul odor is Kalamazoo?" (gosh, I glad I'm not there to smell it)

~"skinning a Kenyan goat and cutting up a Belgian sheep" (now that's a little scary!)

***and my all time favorite!***

~"Are there any cool people left in Kalamazoo?" (I know quite a few, actually.)

why I love Cedar Point

I just got back from my annual trip to Cedar Point.
My brother and I have been going there every year since 1979 (I've only missed a couple times).
We are both roller coaster fans.
Not over the top kind of roller coaster fans~ otherwise we'd probably be going to other parks just to ride different coasters.

Both of us have been to other parks, but there is something that keeps us going back to Cedar Point each year.
For me, other than number of great coasters, it's the sentimental feelings I get from going there (another aspect of my warped sentimentality?...).

Jason and I always have fun reminiscing as we walk around the park.

Remembering the year the Gemini opened. The thrill of that huge wooden coaster. Racing friends in the other car and reaching out over the tracks to slap hands. Laughing at how everyone ducks their raised hands when you go under that one set of tracks that you would never really touch anyways. How we had to wait in line for 3 hours for a coaster that you can now walk right on.

Or the year the Top Thrill Dragster opened.
If you don't know about this coaster, it's called a "Strata Coaster" because it is the first coaster to top 400 feet (420 ft actually), and it has a hydraulic cable launch system that launches riders from 0-120 mph in less than four seconds. It takes you into a 90 degree climb up a hill, twists you 270 degrees and drops you down the other side to hit 120ish miles a hour again. The whole ride last a whopping 17 seconds. Here's a little video of it.




Anyhoo, my brother and I had just entered the park and we were at the base of the ride watching it (it's even fun to watch). The coaster launched and went into it's climb up the hill. As the car climbed the hill you could tell it wasn't going fast enough. It didn't make it to the top of the hill it just hung the on there for a second and started falling backwards. My brother and I both started screaming thinking that we were witnessing some horrific death scene you see in the movies.

We didn't realize the coaster did this sometimes (actually quite a bit the first couple of years that the coaster was getting it's bugs worked out).
But we laugh about the terror we felt that day.

We also like talking about the rides that aren't there anymore. Like that round ride that you stood against the wall and it spun and the floor dropped down and you just hung there.
It had a metal floor and a hose nearby...I have never seen so many people throw up on a ride as that one.
Ah, the memories.

Every year we wonder if the park splurged and bought new uniforms for the kids working there. And every year the answer is 'no'. I think they have had the same hideous blue and red jumpers since 1979. I have never seen an employee that actually looks good in it.

Maybe they make them wear them to cut down on the kids fraternizing with each other.

People watching is always fun at Cedar Point. Every year I think that I have now seen it all, only to be shocked by something new the next year.
Kinda like going to Walmart or the county fair but because of the water rides inside the park there's even less clothes.

A couple other things....the roar of the coaster as it goes by....my once a year treat of an elephant ear....

But my biggest reason for going every year is spending time with my brother.
I can honestly say the thing I look most forward to is hearing him giggle as we go down that first big hill of a coaster.
It's the same giggle as when we were kids.
I actually close my eyes and take it all in and suddenly I'm a preteen again and life is simple and carefree.

poor babies

I had my first experience with the twins being sick last week.

Maybe it's because it's been 14 years since I had a little one around, I don't know. But I hang my RN head low when I admit that it took me all day to figure out they weren't feeling well.

I probably should have noticed something wasn't right when they slept an hour longer for their morning nap (I was ecstatically doing laundry).

I should have had a clue when they didn't want to swing in the baby swings at the park.

this is a different "happy day" at the park...I didn't take pics of them crying

Or fussed over their afternoon bottle.

It finally dawned on me when they slept for another 3 hours and woke up feeling warm to the touch.

Of course, they didn't have those fancy ear thermometers when my kids were little and all my rectal thermometers have since disappeared (maybe it was after one of my kids used the wrong one to take his own temperature orally a few years back---"you put this where?!!!!" he said disgustingly--like I never cleaned it or something).

So I ran next door and asked my neighbor if she had an ear thermometer I could borrow. Her youngest is 5 so after a few minutes of searching she gave me an old one and said "I don't have anymore covers for it and I don't remember how to work it. Good luck."

I took it home and replaced the batteries and finally figured how to get around the "cover missing" error and got it to read.

The only problem was I couldn't (for the LIFE of me!) get it to switch to Fahrenheit.

Another shamefully nursing admission was I couldn't remember the formula to convert it.

And my Internet was down that day and my math genius daughter wasn't answering her text.

I was pretty pleased with myself when I found a way to figure it out.

It was about the same time that the Hubby called.

After relating my story of not being able to find a thermometer in our house to the whole Fahrenheit conversion mystery....which was (in his defense) a little long and he probably wasn't paying very close attention to my story due to the fact he was busy at work...

I triumphantly exclaimed "So I finally got out the meat thermometer....."

"You what?!! You can't stick a meat thermometer in a babies...."

"No!!!!

I used it to convert the temperature from Celsius to Fahrenheit!"

"you want to stick that sharp pointy thing where?"

lunch with Nae and Bond...yes, that Bond

We had a busy weekend here.
It was prom weekend (hopefully, I'll get around to blogging about that later).
And it was the weekend Nae was moving out of her house at college.

Most of her housemates graduated and are going on to be "real adults" with real jobs.

Nae has another semester before she earns her environmental engineering degree. She will be living in a different house this fall with a different group of people.

A very bitter sweet time.


The Hubby couldn't be here because things are a little crazy at work for him right now so I took the train over. My dad and step mom, Ann agreed to help and met me there.

My dad rented a U-Haul and we loaded her things up to bring back to our house. Not sure where we'll put all this stuff!

It all went pretty smoothly.

Here are all the girls that have lived together the last few years.

Here are the "packers and movers" (minus grandma and grandpa).

After we finished, we headed over to a place (that's pretty well known in these parts) to have lunch.

While standing in line, one of Nae's friends came out of the restaurant and told us that Pierce Brosnan was eating there.

Nae, Ann and my dad decided they wanted to get a peak at him so they left while I waited to put our orders in.

A few minutes later they returned.

Nae was so excited "It is him! And grandma talked to him!"

"Really? What did you say?" I asked.

Ann says "Well, I went up to him and said 'we are trying to be polite and discrete but we are wondering if you are really the Pierce Bronson whom you look like?' ". And then he said "yes I am." and I said "well, it's really nice to meet you!" and then he shook my hand!"

Ann was smiling and so pleased.

Until I said his name is Pierce Brosnan. Not Bronson!

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the best smell in the world.

I've blogged before about one of my favorite blogs, Forgotten Bookmarks.

I wasn't exaggerating when I said how much I love this blog, but now I love it even more.

First of all, what could be better than old and rare books?

But then add in the things he finds in these old books and it's like a little treasure hunt.

And then! He started holding give aways!

I try and enter them all and last week I finally won!

My books arrived yesterday. I was just heading out to a dentist appointment and there they were, right on my door step. I couldn't stand the thought of not opening them immediately but I didn't have the time so I took the box with me.

I drove a little faster than normal to my appointment so I would have an extra minute to peak at them. So, in the parking lot of my dentist I opened the box and sat for a moment and enjoyed the smell of my prize.

Yes, I said "smell".

Old books, not only are they beautiful to look at but they have the best smell in the world.

A new "baby" in the family!

Imagine my surprise to find out that Mac is like me when it comes to sentimental feelings for cars (the first of my four kids that I'm aware of). If you're new to this blog you can read about it here and here.

The Hubby has been looking for a car for her for quite some time now. Just a few days ago we found a great car newly listed on-line and we jumped right on it.

Mac saw pictures and immediately fell in love.

Right away she began talking about whether the car was a boy or a girl and what to name it. That's when I knew....she is just like me! and I felt my chest swell with pride and wiped a tear from my eye.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about or have never known the joy of naming your car then I'm not sure I can explain. Obviously, your car has to have a name when you talk to it while driving. And if it ever gives you trouble, gently cooing it's name while rubbing the dashboard always helps.

My first car "Betsy" would cough and sputter when going up large hills. Most mornings she would grumble and groan and refuse to start without a little sweet talk. I'm sure that if she didn't hear all my words of encouragement she never would have made it the many years that she did. I will never forget that horrible day when while driving her pieces just started falling off and she started leaking fluids (We can all image how terrifying it is to get old and start losing some of our "parts" and leaking "fluids").

She had a good run.

RIP Betsy.

We decided Mac would have to drive it first to really know if it's a boy or a girl and maybe the name will come after she figures that out.

When we went and looked at the car a couple days ago the man selling it said it was his daughters car that she got when she was a teenager. He said that she was probably going to cry when it sold. I knew right then and there that this was the car for Mac. You could tell just by looking at it how loved it had been. We assured him that we would love it and take very good care of it.

Hubby and Mac went last night to pick it up. I was dropping Bud off for a spring break mission trip. I wish I could have been there to witness what Hubby described to me later. He said the daughter was there to say goodbye to the car. She told Mac how happy someone was going love it as much as she did. That's when Mac blurted out "is it a boy or a girl and did you give it a name?". The girl seemed so happy and answered "yes! It's a girl and her name is 'Baby Saturn'!".

She then proceeded to show Mac all the details of the car and how everything worked. Mac was so excited and happy.

I have no doubts that it is the beginning of a beautiful relationship!

On a bit of a sad note....

To make room for the new "Baby" we sold "Midge"

sniff. sniff. We didn't have her for long but we all loved driving her. She is going to a great home where she will be loved and restored! Goodbye Midge!

Valentine's Vacuum

I hope everyone had a nice Valentine's Day.

I thought I'd tell you about the wonderful Valentine's gift my Hubby bought me.

It's a vacuum.

Yep, I'm pretty excited. My old vacuum broke last week for like the twentieth time and I fully expected the Hubby to order a new part and fix it like he always does.

My poor old vacuum was looking pretty sad. A hodgepodge of parts. Last year I let one of those "Kirby Vacuum guys" into my house (I know! I'm weak and it was really stupid. Good thing The Hubby came home and rescued me, kicking him out of the house). But anyhoo, this Kirby Vacuum Guy made fun of my sad old vacuum and it actually made me mad. Right at that moment I decided there was no way I was buying one of his fancy vacuum's, insulting something that's been part of my home for the last 10 years. We spent a lot of time together....you know how I am.

So much to my surprise, my hubby starts researching vacuums on the computer. You know, reading reviews, consumer reports and stuff.

We discovered that there are a lot of people out there that are passionate about their vacuums! Trust me on this. I read a couple of the reviews that talked about "sucking power" and the "sheer pleasure from using this vacuum". Some of the reviews were on the verge of getting kinda steamy (and I'm not talking about the vacuum/ steam cleaner combos)!

The Hubby spent an entire evening running around and finally brought me home my new vac. It's really nice. He got home late so I didn't get to try it out until the next day.

He was at work when the Valentine's Day gift subject came up with some of his coworkers. I guess he was getting a little razzed about buying me a vacuum for Valentine's Day. He was trying to convince them that I really wanted it and that I liked it. (I guess some women would kill their husbands if they got a vacuum for a gift--I know! crazy isn't it?).

It was right around this time that I sent him a text telling him that I had just spent "two hours in vacuuming bliss" and had to stop in order to get some other things done. I wanted him to know how much fun I was having using all my new attachments! I needed to tell him now...it couldn't wait till he got home....I might loose the excitement of the moment.

He shared my text with his coworkers. I think to prove that he did a good job on choosing my gift. I think maybe it just made me look a little psycho....

It doesn't really matter because it was one of the best gifts I've received....unless you count the rototiller I got a few years back.

The secret to Ace and the game of fetch

Travis over at I Like To Fish got me addicted to this site where you can make your own motivational pictures. It's called big huge labs.

I wouldn't call my creations "motivational" but I had a lot of fun messing around with some of my pictures.

I think I've finally figured out what is wrong with Ace and why he won't fetch.

It's because he is male.

Plain and simple.

We were out on the golf course again yesterday, playing Ace's version of fetch. I have pretty much given up on him bringing it back to me. And I guess I could use the exercise. So we were getting into the routine of me chasing him around looking like an idiot.

All of the sudden Ace stops and growls. I look over in the direction where he's staring and see one of my neighbors has come out with her cute female pit bull and they are watching us. I tell Ace to settle down and I throw the Frisbee.

And guess what he does. He brings it to me perfectly. He actually places it in my hand! As soon as he releases it he looks over his shoulder at the other dog watching us, then back at me giving me the "throw it! throw it! throw it!" look.

I throw it again, afraid to hope that we are on to something. But he does it, he brings it right to my hand. I'm praising him like crazy but he seems more intent on looking at the other dog to see if she is still watching.

So that's how it went for the next ten minutes while the other dog watched. It was great! Picture the theme song to "Chariots of Fire".....Ace is running full speed. He is leaping gracefully in the air. He looks beautiful. He brings it to my hand each and every time. He actually leaps in the air and catches the Frisbee in his mouth for the first time!

I was so proud.

Then the other dog left.

And Ace dropped the Frisbee 30 feet from me again and gave me the "come and get it chubby!" look.

Stupid dog.

Here's one more picture I made with one of the twins that I thought I'd share.

Have a great day!

The Hubby figures out the secret to a long marriage

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The Hubby and I are sitting alone in the living room the other day watching TV.

I don't even remember what we were watching. I don't really watch much TV. Hubby always has control over the remote. I'd rather read a book or some blogs or something.

This commercial came on for some toilet paper roll thingie. It spins on the wall so you can instantly change it so the flap of toilet paper is hanging either "over" or "under".

The Hubby gets my attention "hey look at this" just before they show it.

Hubby says "Did you see that?!"

I say "Yes....that is brilliant."

He says "We would never fight over how the toilet paper hangs again!"

I say "When have we ever fought over that?"

He says "I don't know. Which way do you like it?" (he should know this because I'm the ONLY one that ever puts a new roll on. I always find it sitting on top of an empty roll. I've asked him several times how come he can be in there forever and not just put a new roll on...)

I say "We've been married twenty years and you don't know? I like it to hang over the top."

(I also confess that in the past I've gone to peoples houses and changed it to the way I like it...you know, maybe they've never tired it that way and then when they see what they are missing out on they will be like "wow! this way is so much better" and then I will have made difference in the world....come on, don't tell me you've never done this.)

He says "Hmmm, I like it to hang over the top too! Maybe that's why we get along so well and have been married this long."

Yeah. I'm sure that's it.

Ace doesn't seem to have a preference.

I'm pretty sure it has more to do with the fact that I never ask for the TV remote.

I'm starting to believe my dog is just plain stupid

Yes.... I've heard it a millions times.

I'll be taking Ace for a walk and someone will say "is that a Border Collie?"

and I'll say "Yes" and then they will say "you know, they are supposed to be the smartest breed of dog there is...."

My neighbor told me "they are the Einstein of the dog world" "off the chart when you compare other dogs IQ..."

Blah, blah, blah.

What I really want to say is "Well not this one! I think he might have been dropped on his head before we got him"

I even blogged about it before.

Here's some more of the things he has done/does and my thoughts at the time in italics:

~running full speed into the front porch step, which would hit him square in the chest and he would gasp. He did that over and over for months. "Oh, he's just a puppy...he'll learn."

~as he got older he would try and leap over the front step and always leap 2 or 3 strides too soon and smack his face on the step. He would also do when trying to get on the bed or couch. "maybe he has something wrong with his depth perception.... Do dogs ever wear glasses?"

~"playing" with the cat. He will stand there and the cat will be on his hind legs slapping the sides of Ace's head over and over. It's like a bad Three Stooges skit. "maybe he thinks this is how cats play?"

We did go to puppy kindergarten. And he did pretty good there, I thought.

The trainer there did warned us.

She told us to be careful, Border Collies are SO smart that they pretend not to get things just because they don't want to do them or to try and manipulate you.

I kinda wish I had never heard this.

Then I could go on just believing that I have a really stupid dog.

Instead I'm finding that I'm playing mind games. Trying to figure out what Ace is really thinking.

Not good. Here's an example.

It all has to do with fetch.

I have been trying to take Ace out everyday to get some exercise.

I've heard all about how if they don't get enough, they can get destructive.

So I decided the best thing for Ace is to go onto the golf course behind our house and play Frisbee. I figure I will throw the Frisbee, Ace will do a lot of running and fetching. Much better than just a walk on the leash around the neighborhood. Get those most out of our time out in the freezing weather.

All good except Ace has other ideas.

I throw the Frisbee.

Ace runs and gets it.
Then I spend 10 minutes chasing after him to get the Frisbee back.

"oh! I'm sorry did you want this"

So I'm thinking that he thinks this is a game (because he's supposed to be an Einstein- right?).

A game I really don't want to play.
I want him to be a normal dog. I throw, he fetches, we go home, he takes a nap and stops chewing on my furniture, the end.

So I quit chasing him. (that'll show him)

He still won't bring it to me.

Ace will run past me and leave it about 30 feet away and then crouch in his "I'm ready to go position"

If I don't go over and get it he starts whining. Eventually he will go over get the Frisbee and flick it in the air (like he's saying see this fun thing? I'll just have fun without you then.)

So I just stand there and watch him and he starts to whine louder pushing it around with his nose.

I have tried everything.

~Praising him continually as soon as he catches it and starts to run towards me....and stopping when he runs past.

~Praising him only when he gets near.

~Ignoring him completely

~Walking away

~Using my "stern voice" and saying "drop" or "come"

~Treats

this has been going on forever. No matter what he won't bring it back to me. And I don't give in. It ends up being a huge frustration. I only throw the Frisbee once or twice and we play battle of the wills the rest of the time and eventually go home.

"Frisbee? what Frisbee? I have no idea what you're talking about."

I've spent a lot of time standing on that golf course freezing my butt off trying to figure out what is going on inside his head.

I've come up with two possibilities

#1. He is just plain stupid.

#2. He is obviously concerned with the large amount of time that I spend sitting on the couch blogging and the lack of exercise I'm getting. He also notices the extra pounds that I've put on from not moving around enough and he is concerned about my health.

Yeah. and now I'm feeling pretty insulted.

I think it might be safer to go back to believing my dog is just plain stupid.

Mac and medicine

I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I haven't blogged about Mac in a while.

Truth is, I was banned.

It seems I may have offended her a couple times.

I apologized, removed the offending posts and tried to be a good blogger mommy.

But yesterday we had another visit to the doctor and my blogging restraint was pushed to the limits.

I should explain.

Every time I bring Mac to the doctor it's sure to be an "interesting" experience. But whenever we go to this "certain doctor" Mac is in true form.

I won't go into any detail but lets just say that we've been to this doctor numerous times since we've moved here and have tried several different treatments that haven't worked.

This doctor loves to banter with Mac. He will say something, Mac will sarcastically respond, he will throw it right back at her and then it's all down hill from there. All I can do is sit back and shake my head. The last time I had to get up and walk out of the room to get them to stop, otherwise, I think we would have been there all day.

In the elevator on the way to his office, I told Mac that I needed to pick up Tony in 45 minutes so I needed the appointment to be short.

Mac says "Oh, don't worry I was planning on keeping it short. I think my humor might be impairing his judgement. I need him to focus and choose the right medicine so I can get better."

Through out the entire appointment I was a little afraid that Mac would interrupt the doctor to say "focus!" because her promise of keeping it short lasted about 2 minutes and the wisecracks were being flung back and forth.

Unfortunately, Mac didn't inherit her quick wit from me and I had trouble just keeping up.

I do remember at one point Mac accused the doctor of trying to kill her and he thanked her for helping him appreciate that he only had boys.

Mac cursed assured him that one of his sons would end up marrying someone just like her.

I managed to snag the prescription between jests and when the conversation turned to Juno, Alaska (don't ask me how it got there, I never said a word) I stood up to leave. The doctor followed us to the check out counter to get in the last jab which I assume is a little unusual due to the surprised look on the receptionists face.

She is due for a recheck in 3 weeks.

I'm beginning to think Mac hasn't been cured on purpose....and I don't know if it's out of vengeance or that he enjoys her company.

ten things I learned on vacation

Our vacation to Cancun was our first experience staying at one of those "all inclusive" resorts. I wasn't sure what to expect but I did learn a few things from it....

1. It is possible to actually eat too much chocolate.

2. One week is not enough time to drink through the entire menu of pool side foofoo drinks.

3. There are crazy people who bring their babies to these places!

4. A one mile walk on the beach only burns about 100 calories, that's pretty much a waste of time when you're eating 10 million calories a day!

5. Speedo's are still popular with some 70ish year old men.

6. There some people with a disproportionate tooth to tattoo ratio who seem to visit these resorts just to be cruel to the staff.

7. Aromatherapy is my new best friend.

8. The chance to win a 50cent plastic Frisbee will cause some people to cheat on the pool side trivia game.

9. If you are just the right size, string bikini bottoms become invisible.

10. I love Mayan coffee!

Have a great day!

shopping with hormones

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I went to the grocery store yesterday to finished up my Thanksgiving dinner shopping.

I tried to plan ahead. I really did. But planning ahead is not one of my strengths.

I did my "big" shopping last Friday afternoon. I thought that I would get everything I needed and then just pop in and pick up some of the fresh stuff I didn't want to buy so far ahead of time. You know, lettuce and fruit and stuff.

But over the weekend I started realizing there were other things that I didn't realize I was low on. All big, heavy things like kitty litter, puppy food, and cat food. Hubby also asked me to buy some pop "cubes" to restock his work fridge.

The reason I'm pointing out all these heavy items is because we all know what it's like when you have a heavily loaded shopping cart and how hard it is to try maneuver it through the store isles. Then add 20 million other people who are poor-plan-aheaders like me; a bunch of insane mothers with at least 2 or 3 young children who all need naps but instead decided to bring them to the store; a few dozen old people who can hardly walk' pushing carts instead of their walkers as they shuffle along slower than a crippled snail; and my hormones.

Yep, my hormones played a big part in this shopping trip. I've decided that has got to be what is wrong with me, because I wanted to rip every one's head off at that store.

It's a good thing I wasn't carrying a loaded weapon.

I'm thinking that people should have to get a grocery shopping license just like a drivers license.

It's obvious that people need to be taught the proper way to grocery shop.

Just like anything in life, there are some rules of etiquette even for grocery shopping.

For example, the person with a bigger cart always has the right away (have you ever tried to steer one of those double-child-carrying-double-long-cart jobs?). And if the shopping carts are equal in size, the person with the largest load of items should always be yielded to. When my cart is over flowing and heavy (like yesterday) and I'm struggling to keep my momentum going and someone with one those half cart steps out in front of me, I'm tempted to pick up the speed and run them right over (and scream and "yeeha" while I do it).

And how frustrating it is when someone abandons their shopping cart in the middle of an isle to go to another area to grab something or compare prices? When I see people doing that, I like to to add a few items to their shopping cart. Let them explain to the check out lady that they really didn't want those condoms and hemorrhoid cream and aren't sure how they got in their shopping cart.

I appreciate the fact that when all these "older" men retire they want to help their wives out at the grocery store, but they are the worst of them all. They have no idea what they are doing. They block entire isle while they compare the fiber content of different brands. They walk slow, with their eyes on the shelves, banging into people, cutting others off- basically having no clue that others are in the store shopping too. At my Meijer back home "senior day" was on Tuesday and I avoided that place on that day like the plague! Yesterday they were out in full force (maybe "senior day" is Tuesdays here too hmmmm).

By the time I was weaving my way to the check out lane I felt like my blood pressure was at blow-the-top-of-my-head-off levels. Like a giant spring was twisting in my chest and ready to snap from being wound so tight. I wanted to scream, not at anyone in particular-just scream.

One solution that would be helpful, besides the grocery shopping license, is if you don't have at least 10+ years of grocery store shopping experience then you are not allowed in the store within three days of a major holiday.

And passing lanes in all isle of the store. And blinkers on shopping carts. And maybe some Valium handed out at the door. And maybe a little better planning ahead....

Puppies new competition

http://www.bordercollie.org/core.html

Our pup Ace is a Border Collie.

If you didn't know, Border Collies are natural herding dogs.
They were bred to be working dogs on farms.

They have this ability to herd other animals without barking. It's really an amazing thing to witness. It is said they can "hypnotize" cattle or "mesmerize" animals with it's intense stare. We call it the Border Collie stare.

Since we don't happen to have any sheep or other livestock around our little Chicago suburb homestead, Ace tries to herd whatever he can.

He attempts to herd our cats....

kitty does not find this amusing

He attempts to herd the kids.....

Tony does find this amusing

But Ace now has some new competition at our house.

Mid December, I am going to start babysitting a set of twins.

One of the twins, Marcus (not his real name-Mac made up the twins Blog names), seems to have the mastered the border collie stare.

This is a common look on his face. Almost like he can stare you into doing his will....

Feed me now!

You will give me my Binky!

I will dominate the world....

this is Mac holding his brother, we'll call him Brogan (I know....maybe if Mac gets over these weird names now, I'll have grandchildren with normal names).

Can you guess who is who?

"Give me your toys"

It's a good thing there's two of them. The Hubby and I are absolutely baby crazy so we've managed to produce a bunch of baby obsessed offspring. We will definitely be fighting over baby holding time.

Marcus and Brogan's mom and dad are pretty understanding about my blogging addiction issues and she has generously allowed me to blog about them every once and a while.

Can't wait to see who wins the first stare down.

I don't think puppy has a chance.

and sorry for all the puppy stories.

I promise to take a break for a while.

ode to a dear old friend take two

I put this picture up first on purpose.

All my regular readers know what this post is gonna be about.
(and can run, run away if you choose but please come back tomorrow-I'll try to be normal then)
All you newbies can read this if you want to see into how my befuddled, sentimental mind works.

So grab your box of kleenex....this is gonna be a tear jerker!



This motorcycle was given to me by my dad a couple years ago.
(I know isn't she pretty!)

This is the same motorcycle my dad had when I was a little girl.

I have many memories of riding this motorcycle with my dad.

I can remember him putting all three of us kids on it at once when we were real little.

I would sit behind my dad and my older brother, Jason would sit behind me.

My little sister, Alex, would sit on the gas tank and wrap her arms around my dad's forearms to hang on.

Don't worry we didn't do that very often (it may have only happened once-that's how my memory works sometimes) and we when we did, we just rode up and down the street in our neighborhood.

I remember how I much I loved being on the back of that motorcycle with my dad.

The thrill I would feel when he would accelerate quickly from a dead stop.

How he would nod his head at other guys on their motorcycles, like a secret code for "yeah we're cool we're riding a motorcycle!".

I would get so jealous when my mom and dad took off with all their friends on their motorcycles for an afternoon ride.

I used to feel so safe and free on the back of that motorcycle with my dad.

Things have changed.

I'm not having those same feelings riding it now a days.

I'm usually pretty terrified and not because Hubby is a crazy driver or anything.

I think about my kids constantly and what would happen to them if something happened to both Hubby and I on that bike.

So we weren't riding it much.

And we were so sad. Yes, me and the motorcycle (I could tell--we have a bond)

So after much long debate and many tears (from me, I didn't tell her) we decided to sell it.

We listed her on Craigslist a while back.

You immediately turn cynical when you list something for sale on Craigslist. We've all heard so many crazy stories of people getting ripped off by someone on Craigslist.

So when Hubby got a call from a guy in Denmark who wanted buy my baby, I mean bike, I was a little sceptical. He claimed he was a collector and he had "a guy" who would pick it up for him and ship it to Denmark.

So we waited and waited. And the guy from Denmark always had an excuse. And we'd wait some more.

And nothing.

So finally Hubby called the guy and said "if you want me to hang on to this bike then I need you to pay for it now".

And he did.

So we've been waiting for "the guy" to come pick it up.

He came yesterday.

Hubby and I had no idea that when he said he was a collector that he collected like this.

This guy has been driving all over the place picking up these motorcycles (from Minnesota to Delaware). Then they will be crated and shipped over seas. He said he does this 2 or 3 times a year for his client.

Sniff. Sniff.
So here we go....

seen enough pictures of her yet? I have like 100 of them

Ode to my beloved motorcycle

Your 1970's orange-ness is awesome

you always looked great paired with my dad's American Flag helmet.

You've been such a sweet motorcycle
and you've help create many wonderful memories

except the time I burnt my hand on your muffler when I was 3

but I know it wasn't your fault.

We grew up together. We both survived our awkward teens in the 80's

(orange wasn't so trendy at that time)

But now some people think your pretty cool

just like people think I'm pretty cool....

And you're headed on a long journey

and I know how scary it can be when you are the last one to join the group

and they are a rough looking group

I'm sure someone will be nice enough to scoot over a little...

and there are some scary things that you might see

look away! just look away!

there are some with you who have had a hard life

there are others who used to be pretty fancy

but have seen better days

Oh lookie here!

he looks like he could be a new friend.

or maybe she is looking for a friend.

Woah! Hold your horsepower!

oh my! and what is this?
purrrrr....

(or should I say vrooooommm!)

Oh honey I hate to say this but....
I think he may be a little out of your league

but wait! I can't believe my eyes!

Look over here!

I think we may have found your long lost little sister!

I know you will be loved and cared for

think of this as a trip to the spa.

You will be pampered and buffed

maybe some new paint

kinda like a motorcycle face lift.

good bye dear friend

enjoy your new adventure!

I will miss you!