Mac and medicine

I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I haven't blogged about Mac in a while.

Truth is, I was banned.

It seems I may have offended her a couple times.

I apologized, removed the offending posts and tried to be a good blogger mommy.

But yesterday we had another visit to the doctor and my blogging restraint was pushed to the limits.

I should explain.

Every time I bring Mac to the doctor it's sure to be an "interesting" experience. But whenever we go to this "certain doctor" Mac is in true form.

I won't go into any detail but lets just say that we've been to this doctor numerous times since we've moved here and have tried several different treatments that haven't worked.

This doctor loves to banter with Mac. He will say something, Mac will sarcastically respond, he will throw it right back at her and then it's all down hill from there. All I can do is sit back and shake my head. The last time I had to get up and walk out of the room to get them to stop, otherwise, I think we would have been there all day.

In the elevator on the way to his office, I told Mac that I needed to pick up Tony in 45 minutes so I needed the appointment to be short.

Mac says "Oh, don't worry I was planning on keeping it short. I think my humor might be impairing his judgement. I need him to focus and choose the right medicine so I can get better."

Through out the entire appointment I was a little afraid that Mac would interrupt the doctor to say "focus!" because her promise of keeping it short lasted about 2 minutes and the wisecracks were being flung back and forth.

Unfortunately, Mac didn't inherit her quick wit from me and I had trouble just keeping up.

I do remember at one point Mac accused the doctor of trying to kill her and he thanked her for helping him appreciate that he only had boys.

Mac cursed assured him that one of his sons would end up marrying someone just like her.

I managed to snag the prescription between jests and when the conversation turned to Juno, Alaska (don't ask me how it got there, I never said a word) I stood up to leave. The doctor followed us to the check out counter to get in the last jab which I assume is a little unusual due to the surprised look on the receptionists face.

She is due for a recheck in 3 weeks.

I'm beginning to think Mac hasn't been cured on purpose....and I don't know if it's out of vengeance or that he enjoys her company.

my kids are soooo embarrassing

This morning I woke Tony up using my best"cheerfully animated" voice. "Time to wake up sweetie and pee in a cup!!"

Oh wait....I forgot....my kids made me promise to change their names if I blogged on this subject....

This morning I woke up a child, who is not my child, we'll call him Bert, using my best"cheerfully animated" voice. "Time to wake up sweetie and pee in a cup!!". "Oh....happy day...." said Bert as he rolled over pulling his pillow over his head.

And I'm not supposed to say anything about hernia exams, puberty, or menstruation either.


So....today the kids got their physicals so we can enroll them in school. I should have known better than to scheduled them for the same time....it wasn't fair to the nurse or the doctor....when you put Tony and Mac together.....I mean Bert and Ernie....they can act pretty juvenile....and whoever heard of kids acting juvenile in a pediatric office!

Here's a few examples of their tomfoolery....

Nurse: "Bert, what sports will you be playing?"

Bert: "Basketball and soccer"

Nurse: "Do you smoke?"

Bert: "No"

Nurse: "Do you drink alcohol?"

Bert: "No"

Nurse: "Do you use steroids?"

Bert: "Depends on my game..."

the nurse looks at me...I roll my eyes.....soooo embarrassing!



here's another.....

the nurse asked if we wanted separate rooms so they could get undressed. Ernie says "you are telling us we have to get naked and then you ask if we want separate rooms!....what kinda family do you think we are?!"

geez! I hope I never grow up to be like her!



and another....

Ernie is sent into a separate room while Bert has his physical. When Bert's physical is finished, the doctor and I head into Ernie's room. We find her sitting on the examination table in her gown but she has "spruced" it up a little. Tying bows out of the paper gown and making it look pretty. The doctor pauses and looks at me....."she's not my child" I want to say....
No, I don't know how she did it.....but she has one of those "mirror shots" of it on her cell phone. And no, I will not be posting it.




Ernie and Bert.....can't take em anywhere!!