How can it be?

Tony has gone and grown up.
In the span of 30 minutes.
Seriously!


He left the house today my baby
and came home a young man.


All due to a haircut.
Well, not really.

Sure, he's had plenty of haircuts before,
but I think there's this magically age
(usually around 8th or 9th grade)
where one day you look at your child
and suddenly you see a young adult.

With my 4th baby it just seemed to happen with the removal of about 5 pounds of hair.

I clearly remember the day I noticed Nae had changed over night.
It was the summer before her 8th grade year.
We were sitting in an auditorium for 8th grade orientation.
I looked over at her and thought "Holy cow! I see a woman!"
And I couldn't take my eyes off her.

And she noticed.

"Why do you keep staring at me?!!" she whispered.
"I'm not." I said nonchalantly and turned and tried to focus on the lady speaking.
That lasted all of 2 seconds and I was staring again.

"Will you stop?!!" she hissed.
"What?" I tried to pretend I was looking at something else that just happened to be over her shoulder.

She didn't buy it.
Mostly because I kept gawking.

But hey, I went through 38 hours of labor!
I figure I'm entitled to a little gawking.

Can I have an 'amen' ?!

Anyhoo, of course, I'd love to prove my point by sharing "before and after" pictures of Tony.
And of course, being the teen that he is, he refused to let me take a picture.

I could go up and take one of him sleeping....

Please note that I am showing great restraint right now.
Yep, I'm a good mom.

learning from my kids

A friend of mine keeps reminding me that I need to "live in the moment".

See, I'm a bit of a worrier.

I know I shouldn't.

I know it doesn't help anything.

I know it takes away my joy for today.

But I still do it.

I won't even tell you the things I worry about.

It would be too embarrassing.

But I will tell you that most of my worry revolves around my kids.

Obviously.

What mom doesn't.

My kids are healthy and happy right now.

That is huge.

So today I choose to live in the moment.

And not worry about what might (or what I know will) happen tomorrow.

I will enjoy watching them making their own choices.

Having fun.

Living.

Laughing.

Loving.

And maybe I can learn to follow their examples....

yes...I'm that easily manipulated

I'm a little surprised that my two older kids didn't figure it out first.

Nae is pretty smart and Bud has the ability see into the heart of anyone.
But it was Mac who stumbled on my weakness.

She is, after all, my third child who I'm blindly stumbling leading through this jungle called teenager life.

And Mac is especially good at putting on the charm and talking me into doing what she wants.

Let's just say that she "has a way of putting things".

Today she found a whole new way to manipulate me.

The unborn grand kids.

Yep.

Today she teasingly told me if I let her do what she wants I can have extra time with the grand kids.

Mac: "Come on Mom! Let me go PLEASE!!! I'll let you see my kids twice a week."

Me: "What?!!" (I was a little shocked. I had to take a moment to collect myself...I had never thought of tactic before) That's all I get?! How much do I get if I don't let you go?"

Mac: "Once a month."

Me: "What?!! I was planning on living next door to you and seeing them everyday! How could you do this to me?"

Mac: "Ha! yeah right!" (she thinks I'm kidding)

You will all be proud of me. I didn't give in.

I'm holding out for at least four days a week...

Kids and work

I'm very excited that my oldest daughter, Nae will be living with us for the summer.

She got an internship as an environmental engineer in downtown Chicago.


She's been home now for a couple of days and I'm loving it.


We took the train into the city this morning to get the timing of the Metra down and to see exactly how long it will take her to walk from the station to her office.
Her office is only two blocks from the train station but the train ride is over an hour each way.
It will make long days for her (leaving the house at 5:20am and getting home around 6pm).


But she is pretty excited.
And so am I.



Or I should say I'm pretty nervous.


I asked The Hubby if he was nervous. He said "no".
I asked him when he thought I would stop getting so nervous about our kid's first days of work.
He said "probably never".
He also said I should only be nervous about their first day of their first "real job".
That if you screw up and make a bad impression on the first day of your real job it can haunt you for a long time.


Now I'm still nervous and have something to look forward to when my kids get "real jobs".

Speaking of first days of work, here's a picture of Mac just before she left for her first day of her VERY first job. She is a hostess in a restaurant.




I always take a pic of the kids on their first day of their first job.
It's a tradition. Just like the first day of school picture.
And they love it just as much.
As you can tell by Mac's "hurry-up-and-take-the-stupid-picture" smile on her face.

And yes, I was super nervous for her that day.

I had a really great picture of Nae on her first day of her first job.
She was working for a civil engineering company and had to wear one of those cute hard hats while on the construction site. I got a picture of her in that. You'll have to trust me when I say it was cute because it mysteriously disappeared.

Anyhoo, it was a really nice day. We went out for lunch and The Hubby gave us a mini tour of the surrounding area.


We saw some interesting variations of panhandling that I've never seen before.




Not your normal signs like the one this weirdo is holding.

The first one we saw said this:

GIRLFRIEND KIDNAPPED BY NINJAS. NEED MONEY FOR RANSOM AND KUNG- FU LESSONS

The next one we saw said this:

NOT GOOD LOOKING ENOUGH FOR PROSTITUTION. NOT SMART ENOUGH TO STEAL. I NEED SOME MONEY PLEASE HELP.

These guys looked pretty young and clean cut. I'm wondering how much money they actually pull in a day with these kinds of signs. And if this turns out to be Tony's first job (which is the first thing I thought of when I saw them...I have no idea why) I won't be nervous or taking any pictures.

teens that are too polite

Tony had some new friends over after school yesterday.

Two of them came home with him after track practice. One of them, let's call him "Eddie", I picked up from his home.

The reason I'm calling him Eddie is because he reminded me of Eddie Haskell from Leave it to Beaver.

I didn't think of him like that immediately.

The first thing he said when getting in the car was "Thank you so much Mrs. Z (dang blog privacy thing again) for coming and picking me up." and I thought "what a polite young man."

I didn't even think that after he thanked me two more times before we got to our house.

I still wasn't thinking that when we got home and he thanked me profusely for the snacks and pop I had set out for all of them.

It was when we got in the car again to take them to our little village square so they could hang out with some other teens. "It's really nice of you to give us a ride Mrs. Z, thank you!" he says.

Tony, obviously annoyed, says "why do you keep kissing up to my mom?"

I'm a little shocked Tony has said this "Tony! He's just being polite! Maybe you should learn to be a little more polite"

And this is when he becomes "Eddie" to me...

he says (in a perfect Eddie Haskell voice) "Yes, Mrs. Z. Don't you find that teenagers can never be too polite?"

I said I didn't and we talked a little more on the subject. But the rest of the evening that conversation and his tone kept gnawing at me.

I decided two things

1. Teens can be a "little too polite" and

2. I don't trust that kid.

I will die! if you don't....

"Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."


I first saw this quote when my Nae was a toddler. A friend had it framed and hanging in her kitchen. This friend is one of those mom's who seems to have it all together, all the time. She took me under her wing when I was a young single mom who didn't have a clue about anything, let alone being a good mom. She taught me a lot not only by word but by example. I would watch her with a kind of awe.


There's nothing that I ever wanted more than to be a good mom. It's obviously a hard thing to measure and one of my many weaknesses is being extremely hard on myself. Believe me, there's no one more critical of what I think, say or do than the little voice in my head.


It's also extremely dangerous to ask your teenage kids what they think of your parenting skills. I can't tell you how many broken hearted mom's I've heard recalling what their child said when they asked this question. Of course most teens will have a list of ways you can improve. They spend all kinds of time thinking about how unfair their parents are and how their life "sucks". It's a teen thing. In reality they are immature, have little life experience, and have no idea of the emotions, situations, or choices you as an parent have to face. You are only setting yourself up if you ask them that question.


That being said, if I were to die today, I feel I've done a pretty okay job. Yes, I've made lots of mistakes and I have lots of weaknesses (especially in the discipline area, for example) but that's the beauty of having a second half. Where I am weak, The Hubby is strong. And vice versa, of course.


All this serious talk aside (yes, I'm rambling) I think that if my "Wonder Mom" friend were to see me now, she would see that I have failed miserably when it comes to her quote. I hang my head in shame, as I admit, I am one of those parents who are constantly running things to their kids that they forget. Lunches, field trip money, gym clothes....you get the picture.


Yes, I've read all about the damage I am doing by allowing this. You don't need to tell me.


Each of my kids are forgetful (or unorganized) to a certain degree. Nae~only when she was overwhelmed, Bud~very rarely, Tony~once every couple of weeks maybe, and then there's Mac~oh! Mac!


The quote above seems to be written just for kids like Mac. You know, kids who are on the "dramatic" side. Most of the phone calls I get from Mac regarding this subject are frantic. Here's how one went that I got yesterday....

"Mom! I forgot _______! I will DIE if I don't turn it in today! I'm serious I will DIE! Will you please bring it?!!"


Mac has been working in the counseling office at school this semester. She was working when I went in there yesterday on this "emergency forgotten item" call. All the office ladies had obviously already heard of Mac's crisis.

"So....you're Mac's mom." the lady at the front desk said (I get this tone and look of sympathy a lot when first meeting Mac's teachers or coaches or friend's parents). All the ladies sitting at their desks behind her look up at me and nod their heads in some kind of understanding or something. (In Mac's defense, they all told me how much they love her and how much she makes them laugh.)

Mac rushes over from her desk and takes what she needs from me. Her friend Emily, is sharing her desk. She also thanks me for bringing it (so she wouldn't have to hear Mac lamenting all day about dying!!!).


That was yesterday, and wouldn't you know it, I get another call today. This one was more like "I will FAIL....blah, blah, blah"

I got the call right after she got to school this am. I thought to myself "I'll just jump in the shower and then run it over" but then on second thought.....

I went into the office this morning in my PJ's just hoping it would be the time when classes are changing. The ladies in the office seem so sweet and understanding (they DO work with teens all day).
I said "yes, I got another emergency call this morning. I don't want her to die!"
"Oh, well yes" she says in her sweet understanding voice "well, when does she need this?"
"Not until last hour" I said. "I could have showered first but I was hoping you guys could help me out. Could you just tell her how lovely I looked in my PJ's? Make it sound like I looked really embarrassing (I did). Maybe throw out the name of one of the cute boys in the school and say that I had a lovely conversation with him in the hall."

Who knows, maybe this will be the last call I get.

Sweet 16...

Mac turned 16 last Friday. I didn't get a chance to blog for her birthday because this weekend was spent running her all over the place to celebrate. I'm sure she was very bummed about that. Um, yeah.


We went to the Illinois Secretary of State so she could take her drivers test.


We had all kinds of issues getting her drivers permit when we first moved here. There was a bunch of confusion because she took drivers training in Michigan (but hadn't got her permit) so I would talk to one person on the phone and they would say "yes, it transfers" and then we would go into the Secretary of State office, wait in line forever, only to be told "no, it doesn't". Then I would be sent somewhere else...blah, blah, blah....it's a long story and not worth going into. Let's just say it took weeks and it was very frustrating.



So Tuesday, we go back to the Secretary of State and for some reason it's all messed up in their computer system. We are told that we may have to go back to the school (because they do their drivers training through the school systems) and start the whole run-around again! After much arguing and one very nice young lady who took 40 minutes (after her shift was over) to make some phone calls, we finally got the "go ahead" for Abbey to take her drivers test.


That was until the lady behind the counter asked if both of my license plates were mounted on my car (front and back). Shockingly, I had procrastinated on getting the stuff to put the front license plate on my car (hey, it's only been 9 months!). Mac gave me a look of "fear and I'm gonna kill you" with a little "you are so embarrassing" (I think every look she gives me has a little of the "you are so embarrassing" in it--it's a reflex).

I told her I would take care of it while trying to act like I wasn't panicking inside (she would kill me! How many 16 years old want to wait an extra day to get their license?) I'm thankful there are men out there who always have duct tape handy.
I was going to post a picture of my tape job, because I thought it turned out quite lovely, but then I remembered the whole blog safety privacy thingie.

Mac on the train going into the city to celebrate

After waiting a total of 2 1/2 hours they called Mac's name. I jumped up to the counter and the lady looked at me and said with a chuckle "you can't go with her".

I was pretty shocked because in Michigan the parent rides in the back seat which seems like a pretty good idea. You know, if your kid fails the test it's a good thing to be there and witness why they failed.

I can only imagine how many parents sitting in the waiting area have a hysterical kid come back from the road test and are trying to comfort them while trying to find out what happened from the test giver.

With my other two older kids I dreaded the road test. The tension is so high in the car and my "mommy instincts" want to kick in and try to make it better some how but you have to just sit there and be quiet (automatic fail if the parent talks or gives direction in Michigan). It's torture.

But I'll take that torture any day over sitting there for a half hour wondering. There were two other parents sitting there with me. A big guy with his daughter who kept pacing and had a nervous laugh and a petite lady whose eyes were as big as saucers and she looked like she might vomit at any minute. I tried to lighten the mood by saying they should at least serve us parents some alcohol or a Valium or something. The big guys just continued pacing and laughing his nervous laugh and the petite lady just got up and moved down a seat. I guess it wasn't funny.

Through the window I could see Mac skipping to the front door. An obvious sign that she passed.

She didn't want to drive home "I have too many phone calls to make" she said. So I spent the next 30 minutes listening to "guess what!....I got my license!.....shut up!.....I know!....." over and over again.

Mac and Sarah figuring out the bus system

All I can say is I'm glad it's over. Only one more kid to go....

Oh yeah! and Happy Birthday Mac!

Wimpy snow storms and earthquakes

Well, the "big snow storm" we were suppose to have last night sputtered out...again.
Since we've moved here, we haven't really had much snow to speak of.

I'm not complaining, mind you.
But the kids hate it when all their friends are having snow days back in Kzoo and they have to go to school. Makes it hard for them to not miss Michigan on those mornings.

But I am starting to understand the "looks" and comments I got from some of the neighbors when they saw my snow blower from Michigan. "Wow. That's a really big snow blower you have there."

They all have these wimpy little blowers that are about 12 inches wide and sound like they run on the motor of a toy remote car.

We have a man size snow blower. You know, Troy-Bilt, Briggs and Stratton 9.5 horse power, 5 speed and 2 speed reverse, 26 inch auger. It's huge. Even has head lights (that's what I always tell people because I really don't know much about motors and such...head lights, now that's impressive!)

I feel like Tim Taylor when I use it. Tempted to make one of his husky "oh oh oh" noises and then point it over at my neighbors driveway and bury them.

But I've only used it once since we've been here. I actually like the peace and quiet of shoveling once and a while, especially when there's only a little snow.

The big news around here is the earthquake we had this morning at 4:00 am. The epicenter was less than 10 miles from us and it was a 3.8 (this has all been revised since this morning- originally they said 4.3).

All I know is that it scared the living day lights out of all of us.

I was asleep on the couch downstairs with Ace (long story, he's being a bit of a bad puppy) when the whole house started shaking. There was this deep rumbling noise and Ace was running in circles barking. It lasted about 5 to 10 seconds, enough for me to run around the house while things were shaking all around me, look outside, and then run upstairs. Hubby said "what the heck was that?" we couldn't believe it would be an earthquake. Earthquakes in Illinois? Whoever heard of such a thing.

One of our cats came from Tony's room into our bedroom. His tail was huge and all the hair on his back was standing up straight. It took me a while to find the other cat this morning. He was hiding in between some moving boxes in the basement. Poor guy.

Ace did the same barking running in circles at about 5:30 am again. The news said we probably wouldn't feel any aftershocks but I'm wondering if Ace did.

There were some pretty interesting stories on the Chicago News this morning from people saying their animals alerted them before the quake actually hit. Everything from dogs to cats to birds.

I wasn't sure if it woke the kids or not. None of them came out of their rooms but when I went to wake them up for school Bud rolls over, puts the pillow over his head and says "I'm tired, that earthquake kept me awake last night."

Like we had ten of them last night and it's nothing new to him.
Mac jumped up and said "was that an earthquake at 4 am?" and Tony said "my bed was banging against the wall and I thought it was the puppy".

I'm still shocked that none of them came out of their rooms, scared.
As for me, I made the Hubby hold me tight and fought the urge to go get all my babies and bring them into our bed (yeah I know they are all grown up size) and I really wanted Nae there.

I guess that's a mom thing.

gotta get a dictionary.

It's always entertaining for me to have all the kids together in one room and listen to them talk.

Over Thanksgiving break (yeah this is one of those posts that I started writing forever ago and kinda forgot about it and now since I have nothing else to say...well, you know) we revisited a conversation that we've had a few times in our house.


Tony claims that the meaning of certain words really don't mean much and you can insert them into any sentence at anytime and the meaning of what you are trying to say won't vary much.

Being that I LOVE words and finding out their meanings and discovering new ways to string them together to get a point across, I had to adamantly disagree (actually, this drove me crazy).


He choose the example "supple" for a word to be used anywhere and any time.

And for months now he will randomly insert it in sentences. Not very often. Just enough to get me to stop what I'm doing and give him "that look" (you know--the mom version of rolling her eyes but with a little bit of "I'm gonna smack you if you keep this up" look thrown in too--you know what I'm saying).

Then he gives me one of his "I'm the baby and I know you think I'm cute" smirks.

He uses it as an adverb:
"I ran supply today in gym class."

He uses it as an adjective:
"You should have seen that movie. It was really supple!"

He uses it as an interjection:
I'm showing him something in a magazine and he says "Supple!!! Mom, Supple!!!"

The worst part is I've never liked this word. As soon as I hear it always think of breasts. As in, "the woman had supple breasts". As in, large....I'm not sure where that comes from.

I thought maybe I should put a stop to this, you know, I didn't want Tony doing this outside of our home and offending someone (or maybe just because it bugged me so much). So I thought I'd look up the word just so I could explain it clearly to him.

And this is what I found....

Sup.ple:
adj. sup·pler, sup·plest
1. Readily bent; pliant.
2. Moving and bending with agility; limber.
3. Yielding or changing readily; compliant or adaptable.

I am so wrong about the meaning of the word. How did I come up with this? I guess it can be used in a sentence describing breasts but not meaning what I thought. Maybe I didn't pay as much attention in English class as I thought.

I don't know why this word bugs me so much (even more now). It grinds on me inside. I think that sounds crazy, but it's the way it is.

And of course, Tony probably realized this from the beginning and that's why he takes such joy in throwing it in when ever he can.

The whole thing reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from The Princess Bride.

Here's a little clip for you.

Oh, and I'm Vizzini....."Inconceivable!" I mean "How Supple!"

"I can do it myself"

"I can do it myself"
those independent words making my heart swell with pride.
My two year old daughter's favorite saying when attempting some new feat.
Her face beaming with pride when she succeeded.

"I can do it myself"
those independent words bringing me frustration.
In a rush to get out the door, trying to be patient as she ties her own shoes.
I take a deep breath and release irritated sigh.

"I can do it myself"
those independent words forcing me to let go.
She is picking out her own clothes to wear to school.
I choose to say nothing about the plaid shirt with the striped pants.

"I can do it myself"
those independent words filling my head with worry.
Watching her pull out of the driveway on the snow covered roads.
All I can do is pray.

"I can do it myself"
those independent words piercing my heart.
Listening to her news of the plans she has mapped out for her future.
Knowing she no longer needs me.

"I can do it myself"
those independent words making my heart swell with pride.
She is an independent woman. Making her own choices in life.
Realizing that is what I intended for her.

for john

I've had a blog request,

I've only done this once before.

It comes from my bbf Gigi's son.

His name is John.

John sent me some pics to go along with the post.

I think he's hoping to embarrass his little sister.

Actually, he's probably just hoping that she will slow down while driving.

Yeah, I'm sure it's all in love!

So this is for John....

I wrote it to the tune of Gilligan's Island.

I showed it to Mac after I was done and she says she doesn't know the tune.

Ugh! Teenagers!

Well, I'm not changing it now.

so for my teens readers out there...

if don't know the Gilligan's Island theme song then
you're lame click here

ok so here you go John....

* * * * * * *

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
a tale of a fateful leap

That started on a snowy day

aboard this little "heap".

The chauffeur was a mighty driver,

with 11 months under her belt

and a passenger that she picked up that day

offering a ride to help.

she's always willing to help

* * * * * *

The weather started getting warm

the snow turning into slush.

if not for the skillful driving

the little heap would 'of been lost.

the little heap would 'of been lost

* * * * * * *

The heap's aground on some uncharted Pfizer land,
with Marie...

and Mac too...

a couple cute college boys stopping by....

two Pfizer "cops".....

a real close tree,

a helping dad and brother John

here on Pfizer land.

* * * * * * *

So this is the tale of two stranded girls

they were there for a long, long time

they had to make the best of things

because a tow they could not find

The offers of help were plenty

by each good Samaritan passing by

but when they realized how far they were stuck

they only waved and said good bye!

No daddies! No money! No tow trucks!

Don't want to pay for that luxury!

Like two typical teenagers

an accident they could never foresee.

So join me to tell these girls to slow down

and take winter driving seriously.

Because cars and broken tow straps can be replaced

but these sweet girls could never be!

I'm still here...

Hi there bloggie friends! It's been forever since I've written anything. Thanks to you guys who are still checking in and for the notes on here and facebook telling me you've noticed my absence.

Christmas was a little rough here. All my kids, except Tony, were going through somethings that tugged on the mama heart strings.

Watching your kids hurt emotionally or physically is the toughest part of parenting. When there's nothing you can say or do to make it better. Knowing that it's part of life and it's theirs, and only theirs to experience and deal with, still doesn't make it any easier to let go.

Oh! How I miss the days of kissing the boo-boo, maybe a band aid, and we could go back to playing again....

But things are better here.

Nae is back at college and actively looking for her summer employment/ internship. She has had a couple phone interviews and we are excited to see where she will end up. We were hoping for something close to Chicago so we could see her more but she has some wonderful opportunities in other areas of the US. I won't lie, I'm thankful that it's the US this year and not Sudan again.

The other kids just finished up their semester exams and are breathing a sigh of relief that they made it through the first half of the school year in their new schools.

The Hubby and I just came back from a vacation in Cancun. Since the new job, The Hubby hasn't taken any time off (it's been over a year and a half I think). He really needed it!

Uncle Mark, The Hubby's bachelor brother took a week of his vacation time, flew up from Hilton Head and stayed with the kids and the puppy (I know! We thought maybe he was drinking when he agreed to do it!). He did an amazing job and the kids loved having him here for a whole week all to themselves.

I have some vacation stories. I'll tell you a quick one today.

We flew from O'Hare to Charlotte, NC then onto Cancun. I've never been to the Charlotte Douglas International Airport before. It was very nice. We came from a dark crowed O'Hare, filled with crabby people in extra long security lines (thank you Mr. Underwear Bomber) where flights were just beginning to be delayed because of a big snow storm--- to a big open cheery terminal in Charlotte, where the main area is full of windows, a man playing a grand piano, and rocking chairs to sit in the sunshine (or giant bean bags chairs to nap in).

But the best part of CLT....the bathrooms! Yes, that's right, the bathrooms. See one thing I haven't told you about myself is that I notice bathrooms. I enjoy finding nice bathrooms. It's kinda like a little treasure hunt. (if you're a long time reader of this blog, you may have noticed this fact in this post) I just didn't admit my gift back then. Yes, it's a gift really. Being able to find these "jewels in the rough" in some unlikely places. I like to consider myself a "Bathroom Connoisseur". I think it comes from my years of camping. My camping friend, Vonda, (and her husband, Dave, who we actually went on this vacation with) and I would try and pick our favorite camp grounds based on the "facilities".

So even though this bathroom wasn't a "jewel in the rough" because the whole airport was nice, I was still wasn't expecting what I walked into.

I happen to walk into the entrance of the restroom with another woman who I didn't know. We came in shoulder to shoulder and the first thing we see is a fancy little "spread" of mouthwash, breath mints, lotions, feminine products and a big tip jar FULL of money. I don't know if it was the shock of us both seeing all that money that stopped us in our tracks or the booming voice of the big black lady saying "Welcome to Big Bertha's Bathroom!!!"

We both hesitated and looked at each other for a second a little surprised. Then "Bertha" shouts at us in her southern accent "Come on, come on in! Don't be shy!" as she is waving us towards the toilet stalls. Then "Bertha" says "Everyone gets a seat in Big Bertha's Bathroom!" and she laughs this deep laugh while showing each of us to our own "seats".

The stall and everything in it was sparkling! And "Bertha" was waiting right there when I opened the door with a rag in her hand for a quick tidy up.

She continued to crack jokes and smile and "encourage" all of us ladies while we were in her domain.

Now I know why that tip jar was so full....and I couldn't help adding to it.

Christmas "firsts" and "lasts"

We are having a wonderful Christmas here and I hope you are too.

Each year I think "this is my favorite stage of my kids lives" but then the next year I am surprised at how much I love the next stage.

I never thought I'd love the teen years. But I can honestly say that I really do.

The way they interact with each other (most of the time) is really fun to watch. We spend so much time laughing.

I'm not sure if having our oldest off at college has made us all appreciate "family time" even more or if it has something to do with the move to a different state, but the kids are close and seem to support each other and enjoy spending time together. Don't get me wrong, they still have their moments but the good ones outweigh the bad ones and those are the times I choose to focus on.

This Christmas as I sat back and watched my kids, I realized that this year there were a lot of "firsts" and "lasts" in our home. I thought I would see if I could write some of them out.

a first: having my children's "significant others" (ie. boy/girl friends) at our home during the holidays.

a last: having our kids all to ourselves....Nae spent part of Christmas day with her boyfriends family (which is also a "first" too) I guess I have to share right?

a first: my kids are finally enjoying family game time (in the past I always had to force them to play, now they actually ask to play).

a last: I think this may be the last Christmas that Tony runs around the house jumping up and down continually on Christmas Eve saying "Tomorrow is Christmas! Tomorrow is Christmas!" all of the other kids seem to have outgrown the "childish excitement" for Christmas....which is sad.

searching for the Christmas Pickle....it helps to tell them ahead of time that the prize is a gift card this year....

a first: Not having "what I want for Christmas" lists ten miles long from each kid. This year Mac's list was "a curling iron" and Buds list was "a DVD". Not fun to work with, especially when there are grandparents wanting ideas too.

I should mention that Tony only had one item on his list this year too....

a first: We will be meeting the parents of Nae's boyfriend today. Makes me feel old, but she is a senior in college so I guess these things have to happen soon or later.

a first: Having my girls help me in the kitchen (and not having to beg) and enjoying cooking together.

my girls....

Have a wonderful rest of the holiday season everyone!

birthdays and ovarian gymnastics

Yesterday my oldest son turned 19.

I like to blog a little something for my kids birthday.

They like it too....

um...yeah.

I'm a little late (I babysat the twins yesterday).

Having those babies around does something to me.

It's hard to explain

it must have something to do with the ovaries or something.

I get this yearning,
the ovaries start limbering up,

stretching out the hamstrings, a couple of jumping jacks,

you know get the blood flowin'

(I think my male readers just logged off).

So I got out all the old photo albums and looked at pictures of Bud when he was a baby.
I could feel my ovaries heave a big sigh.

Really.

I was all sentimental and sappy and stuff.

The Hubs came home and saw the big pile of photo albums out

"why are all those out?" he asked....with a little bit of an attitude

...if you ask me

I wanted to say "duhhhh! It's our baby's 19th birthday

I'm having a maternal moment here!

Just back off!"

You know, if he can't figure out by now what it does to me when our babies get all "grown up"and stuff.... that it makes me want to pull out all the old photos and droll over those big fat baby cheeks and big blue eyes....

well ,it would be useless to explain it to his "maleness"

can I have an "amen" ladies?

ahem. maybe it's just me.

So anyhoo, yesterday I did a lot of page flipping and sighing and "awww"ing.

Me, the photo albums and my ovaries.

and I realized I do have some regrets (don't we all)

but my biggest is not appreciating it all more...

that, and not kissing those baby cheeks till they chapped.

my ovaries know what I'm talking about.

bah-humbug!

I'm really having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year!

Yeah, I got the tree up and a few decorations.

Maybe it's because I didn't put out half of my Christmas "stuff" this year because of the pup.

I'm really missing my nativity scene. I don't dare put it out.

It's all hand made by a woman from my church back in Kalamazoo who is a weaver.

The worst part is I'm not even sure where it is. I keep it in a separate box with cedar so it doesn't get eaten by moths.

I have a vague memory of showing to the mover guy who was packing my basement up and labeling it as an item to take "extra special care of". Um, yeah....

Or maybe it's because I haven't even started my Christmas shopping yet. I have four kids who claim to have no idea what they want for Christmas.

That is disturbing on many levels.

Yes, it would be nice to believe that they are just a bunch of sweet, selfless teens who are seeing beyond all the hype of the holiday season and are realizing the "true meaning" of Christmas. They don't need the stuff...

But that's not what I'm thinking.

I'm guessing that as parents maybe we give them too much year round so they don't "need" or "want" anything.

That or they are too lazy to figure it out.

They have grandparents who like to get their shopping done before all the last minute madness starts. A list would be nice for them too.

I'm almost afraid to ask if this is this a normal teen thing? And I'm refusing to just give them money for Christmas. But the longer this goes on the more of a Scrooge I become.

bah-humbug!

Here's all that puppy wants for Christmas

"His two front teeth"

The Christmas Pickle and our other silly traditions

When Nae was in the fourth grade I was visiting her classroom just before Christmas break.
The teacher asked the kids to share what their favorite family Christmas tradition were.
I'll never forget the look on Nae's face when she looked to me for an answer.

The truth was we had none.
Zero. Zilch.

I wasn't raised with any traditions.
I'd had Nae young, got married, had another baby, went through nursing school, worked full time had two more kids. Life was a blur at that time.
I was 26 years old. I had trouble planning my meals for the week.

But after listening to those cute little kids proudly describe the special things they did around the holidays I knew we needed to find some traditions.
And fast!

So I started talking about it with the kids.

Now I will warn you these are pretty silly traditions.
There are no deep meanings in these.
It's just what we do as a family.

Christmas ornaments:
I don't know if you'd count this as a tradition but I do. Each kid has their own Christmas ornament box. Every year I buy a new ornament or two for each kid that has something to do with what they are interested in that year. Because I only have one ornament from when I was a kid, I wanted for my kids to someday leave home and have a box full of ornament and memories.
When we decorate the tree it makes it easy for the kids to hang their own ornaments and reminisce.

Christmas Eve PJ's and Secret Santa:
One year I thought it would be nice to have new PJ's for Christmas morning. I wrapped them and told the kids they got to open one gift Christmas Eve. I know, it was kinda mean. They were not thrilled with their PJ's but then to my surprise the next year they asked if we could do that again. So now every year we do the same thing. The kids joke about how they don't know what the gift is. They act all excited and silly. The only twist now is when we have others with us on Christmas Eve, guess what they get. Yep, new PJ's. Now that the kids are older they have also added Secret Santa on Christmas Eve. The kids draw names just between themselves at Thanksgiving and open that gift the night before Christmas.

Monkey Bread and A Christmas Story:
We all get into our new PJ's and make monkey bread, drink egg nog and watch the best Christmas movie ever.
Yes, A Christmas Story. I think everyone in my family can recite that movie by heart. And if you haven't seen it...then you're lame! I can't imagine there is anyone living in the USA who hasn't seen it but if you haven't just go to TBS on Christmas Eve, they play it nonstop, back to back all day and night long (yes, it's that good!).

Santa comes:
Yes, Santa still comes at our house. When my kids got to the age where they notified me that they didn't believe that Santa was real we had a little heart-to-heart (or shall I say a veiled threat). This is kinda how my end of the conversation went: "Honey, you can believe whatever you want-- but Santa still comes to our house and brings all the presents. If you decide to tell your brothers or sister what you believe-- then you will get nothing from Santa--oh, and did I mention that Santa brings ALL the presents?"

It worked for me.


The Christmas Pickle:
I'm a little worried that this might be a little anticlimactic....so many have asked. Back during that first year of trying to find some traditions, someone told me about the Christmas Pickle. I had to search forever to find one. Now a days they are everywhere and come with a little card describing some "pickle legend" or something.
I don't know anything about all that.
All I know is that I hide the pickle on the tree Christmas Eve and the kid who finds it first Christmas morning gets a little extra present. In the past I've given candy or an special ornament. This year I will be kicking it up a little with a gift card (gotta keep the teens engaged).

Christmas Strata:
Every year I make a strata for breakfast Christmas morning. It is the same recipe of strata that was served at my bridal shower. It's nice because I can make it the night before, set the table and not have to do anything in the morning except enjoy the family.
I will admit for years the kids hated strata and complained constantly. A few years ago I told them that I would make something different. "You can't do that!!! It's our tradition!!" Now they all claim to like it.

So there you have it. Every year I am threatened with bodily harm if I forget any of our traditions (really).

It just goes to show you that your traditions don't have to be fancy or elaborate. Just as long as they are special to your family.

I would love to hear about your Christmas traditions (I would love to keep adding more)

some of my favorite ornaments

Yesterday, McGillicutty over over at Inner Rambling of a Mid Life Mama did a blog about her ornaments and invited us to join in....

So I snapped a couple pics of my favorite on my tree.

You'll notice they are the fanciest or the prettiest.

They are the ones that bring back sweet memories.

This guy was the first "ornament" I ever bought when I was a single mom and I

had one of those little 3 foot high fake trees that was empty.

He was what I used as an angel for the top.

This ornament I found stuffed in my sister closet in June 1989 after she was killed in a car accident. Nae, her niece was born the September before. She must have had it made for her and then either forgot about it or couldn't find it on her last Christmas with us.

This one represents the ornaments I've made with the kids in the past.

Mac and I made a couple of these one year (and I love snowmen).

This is one of my only ornaments I have from my childhood (teen years actually)

Yes, I was a cheerleader and I think one of my friends' mom made these for all the girls one year (is that right Amy?)

yes, We have a Christmas Pickle. If you don't know what this is, I will blog about it later on a Christmas traditions blog I will be posting later.
This is one of the many ornaments we collected on vacation. Everywhere we go we always buy one. I have a bunch of ornaments from all over the USA.

This one represents the ornaments I have of the kids that have pictures on them. I don't have very many and if I had to do it all over again, I would make an ornament of each kid each year (yeah I'm sure they would love it...)

Well, thanks for stopping by!

Hope you're Holiday preparation is going well!
(Oh! and go visit McGillicutty!)

our one thanksgiving tradition

My kids love holiday traditions.
They actually get really mad if I forget one.

And it's actually gotten worse since they've gotten older.

Or maybe it's that they are teens and they are just

better at communicating what a loser I am if I forget one.

We only have one Thanksgiving tradition

and I wanted to share it with you.

Our Thanksgiving table cloth.

I realize that you will see some of the real names of my kids

but it wouldn't be the same if I photoshoped their names out

or tried to change the pictures

and I don't really have the computer skills to do that...

it's just a white table cloth but each year everyone

has to write something they are thankful for on it.

sometimes the kids traced their hands.

which I loved.

sometimes I giggled at what they are thankful for

at least mom and dad are included with the gameboy.

and there's record of what they loved that year.

or some sweet things...

this one is during my oldest daughters first year of college.

Some record big life changes....

this is from the year we got transferred back to our home town.

and some record things we will never be able to forget...

this was after 9/11.

Whenever anyone is with us for Thanksgiving they have to write on it too.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

a mothers touch

This morning was parents day at Tony's school.

Last night, while we were discussing what happens on parents day, Tony said to me "please don't embarrass me Mom."

I really have no idea what he's talking about.

I mean what could be embarrassing about being a 14 year old, eighth grade boy at a brand new school and have your mom hanging with you at school for the day?

Really.

I think the administrators do this to these kids just for chuckles.

On the way into school, I asked Tony what would be the most embarrassing thing that I could do to him (just to be sure that I didn't accidentally do something that I didn't know would be mortifying to him).

His answer surprised me. He said "please don't touch me while we are in there".

Wow! That's all it would take?

Through out the day I had plenty of opportunities to cause him blushes that didn't involve touching him....but I was a good girl.

Now he lays here cuddled up next to me while I write this. He likes me to rub his back. I like to play with his wavy hair.

He doesn't seem to mind me touching him now. And I am cherishing these moments because I know they will be gone all too soon.

how to embarrass your teens

Yesterdays post was fun for me.

Embarrassing your teens is almost as addicting as blogging.

It made me think of a story of mom embarrassing her teen that I witnessed a few years back.

I was a teachers aide for a while at my kids school. One of my duty's was to supervise the outside lunch area. There were picnic tables where the high school kids would eat lunch.

One fall day, I'm standing next to one of the tables that is filled with 9th grade boys and girls.

They are doing what all 9th grade hormonal teens do, flirting, giggling, picking at their food, when we hear this high pitched call from across the lunch area.

"Yoohoo! Jor...dan...! Jordan! Over here! It's mom! Yooooohooooo!" Every eye turns to look at at a woman dressed in a house coat, slippers, and curlers (this is a mother that I know, she does not dress like this in public). I look over at Jordan and see the color drain from his face, accompanied by a look of horror. Then the color quickly returns and ripens into bright red.

Jordan's mom is frantically waving her hand in the air. "Jor...dan..." she continues in her high pitched whiny voice, "I just wanted to make sure you remembered to put clean underwear on this morning!!!".

Jordan seems to be paralysed by mortification. The whole lunch area is silent. Kids who have mouths full of food have stopped chewing and their jaws hang open in disbelief.

"Jor...dan.... come over here and give your mommie a kiss!!!!"

Jordan isn't moving. I'm not sure Jordan is breathing, he's so red he almost looks purple.

Jordan's mom starts walking over to the table full of teens and squeals "Jordan! I missed you! I just had to come and say HI to you and meet all your friends!" Jordan's inability to move has now disappeared and he jumps up from his seat to intercept his mother before she can reach his lunch table.

They happen to meet just a couple of feet from where I'm standing.

Jordan's mother grabs her son in a big bear hug and the smile she has been wearing instantly vanishes. As she is patting her sons back I hear her hiss into his ear "Don't you EVER walk away from me when I'm talking to you again!".

She pulls Jordan back from the big hug by the shoulders and there's that sweet smile again on her face. She gives Jordan a big kiss on the check and leaves the lunch area.

Man, I was in awe of that woman that day!

I'm pretty sure Jordan didn't ignore his mother ever again.

So I was thinking it might be interesting to come up with a list of ways to humiliate your kids. This list could be useful for times when you need to come up with a creative way to make your kid obey you (like Jordan's mom demonstrated).

Or it could just be for fun.

Like a hobby.

I would love some help with this list.

Any ideas you have would be great or past experiences of when your parents embarrassed you.

Think of this as a public service, you know, to help us parents reach our fullest embarrassing potential.

Here's the ones I've come up with:

1. Just go about life normally....you will embarrass you're kids no matter what you do.

2. when driving their friends somewhere, tune in an 80's station and sing really loud. Dancing in your seat, hand gestures and exaggerated facial expressions are an added bonus.

3. show up to pick your teen up in an outfit that closely resembles what they are wearing. Point out in front of their friends how "special it is that you match".

4. tell their friends stories of when you were their age. include things like "I was so cool..." and "I can remember what it was like to be your age..."

5. put together a small album of naked baby pictures. Keep it handy if dating curfews are not strictly met.

6. in front of your teen ask cute cashiers or wait staff if they have a boyfriend/ girlfriend (my mother would do this to me).

Well, that's all I can come up with right now (I'm exhausted today from puppy). I would love to hear your input!