how to embarrass your teens

Yesterdays post was fun for me.

Embarrassing your teens is almost as addicting as blogging.

It made me think of a story of mom embarrassing her teen that I witnessed a few years back.

I was a teachers aide for a while at my kids school. One of my duty's was to supervise the outside lunch area. There were picnic tables where the high school kids would eat lunch.

One fall day, I'm standing next to one of the tables that is filled with 9th grade boys and girls.

They are doing what all 9th grade hormonal teens do, flirting, giggling, picking at their food, when we hear this high pitched call from across the lunch area.

"Yoohoo! Jor...dan...! Jordan! Over here! It's mom! Yooooohooooo!" Every eye turns to look at at a woman dressed in a house coat, slippers, and curlers (this is a mother that I know, she does not dress like this in public). I look over at Jordan and see the color drain from his face, accompanied by a look of horror. Then the color quickly returns and ripens into bright red.

Jordan's mom is frantically waving her hand in the air. "Jor...dan..." she continues in her high pitched whiny voice, "I just wanted to make sure you remembered to put clean underwear on this morning!!!".

Jordan seems to be paralysed by mortification. The whole lunch area is silent. Kids who have mouths full of food have stopped chewing and their jaws hang open in disbelief.

"Jor...dan.... come over here and give your mommie a kiss!!!!"

Jordan isn't moving. I'm not sure Jordan is breathing, he's so red he almost looks purple.

Jordan's mom starts walking over to the table full of teens and squeals "Jordan! I missed you! I just had to come and say HI to you and meet all your friends!" Jordan's inability to move has now disappeared and he jumps up from his seat to intercept his mother before she can reach his lunch table.

They happen to meet just a couple of feet from where I'm standing.

Jordan's mother grabs her son in a big bear hug and the smile she has been wearing instantly vanishes. As she is patting her sons back I hear her hiss into his ear "Don't you EVER walk away from me when I'm talking to you again!".

She pulls Jordan back from the big hug by the shoulders and there's that sweet smile again on her face. She gives Jordan a big kiss on the check and leaves the lunch area.

Man, I was in awe of that woman that day!

I'm pretty sure Jordan didn't ignore his mother ever again.

So I was thinking it might be interesting to come up with a list of ways to humiliate your kids. This list could be useful for times when you need to come up with a creative way to make your kid obey you (like Jordan's mom demonstrated).

Or it could just be for fun.

Like a hobby.

I would love some help with this list.

Any ideas you have would be great or past experiences of when your parents embarrassed you.

Think of this as a public service, you know, to help us parents reach our fullest embarrassing potential.

Here's the ones I've come up with:

1. Just go about life normally....you will embarrass you're kids no matter what you do.

2. when driving their friends somewhere, tune in an 80's station and sing really loud. Dancing in your seat, hand gestures and exaggerated facial expressions are an added bonus.

3. show up to pick your teen up in an outfit that closely resembles what they are wearing. Point out in front of their friends how "special it is that you match".

4. tell their friends stories of when you were their age. include things like "I was so cool..." and "I can remember what it was like to be your age..."

5. put together a small album of naked baby pictures. Keep it handy if dating curfews are not strictly met.

6. in front of your teen ask cute cashiers or wait staff if they have a boyfriend/ girlfriend (my mother would do this to me).

Well, that's all I can come up with right now (I'm exhausted today from puppy). I would love to hear your input!