Thursday, October 15, 2009

how to embarrass your teens

Yesterdays post was fun for me.
Embarrassing your teens is almost as addicting as blogging.
It made me think of a story of mom embarrassing her teen that I witnessed a few years back.

I was a teachers aide for a while at my kids school. One of my duty's was to supervise the outside lunch area. There were picnic tables where the high school kids would eat lunch.

One fall day, I'm standing next to one of the tables that is filled with 9th grade boys and girls.

They are doing what all 9th grade hormonal teens do, flirting, giggling, picking at their food, when we hear this high pitched call from across the lunch area.


"Yoohoo! Jor...dan...! Jordan! Over here! It's mom! Yooooohooooo!" Every eye turns to look at at a woman dressed in a house coat, slippers, and curlers (this is a mother that I know, she does not dress like this in public). I look over at Jordan and see the color drain from his face, accompanied by a look of horror. Then the color quickly returns and ripens into bright red.

Jordan's mom is frantically waving her hand in the air. "Jor...dan..." she continues in her high pitched whiny voice, "I just wanted to make sure you remembered to put clean underwear on this morning!!!".

Jordan seems to be paralysed by mortification. The whole lunch area is silent. Kids who have mouths full of food have stopped chewing and their jaws hang open in disbelief.

"Jor...dan.... come over here and give your mommie a kiss!!!!"
Jordan isn't moving. I'm not sure Jordan is breathing, he's so red he almost looks purple.

Jordan's mom starts walking over to the table full of teens and squeals "Jordan! I missed you! I just had to come and say HI to you and meet all your friends!" Jordan's inability to move has now disappeared and he jumps up from his seat to intercept his mother before she can reach his lunch table.

They happen to meet just a couple of feet from where I'm standing.

Jordan's mother grabs her son in a big bear hug and the smile she has been wearing instantly vanishes. As she is patting her sons back I hear her hiss into his ear "Don't you EVER walk away from me when I'm talking to you again!".

She pulls Jordan back from the big hug by the shoulders and there's that sweet smile again on her face. She gives Jordan a big kiss on the check and leaves the lunch area.

Man, I was in awe of that woman that day!

I'm pretty sure Jordan didn't ignore his mother ever again.


So I was thinking it might be interesting to come up with a list of ways to humiliate your kids. This list could be useful for times when you need to come up with a creative way to make your kid obey you (like Jordan's mom demonstrated).

Or it could just be for fun.
Like a hobby.

I would love some help with this list.

Any ideas you have would be great or past experiences of when your parents embarrassed you.

Think of this as a public service, you know, to help us parents reach our fullest embarrassing potential.

Here's the ones I've come up with:
1. Just go about life normally....you will embarrass you're kids no matter what you do.

2. when driving their friends somewhere, tune in an 80's station and sing really loud. Dancing in your seat, hand gestures and exaggerated facial expressions are an added bonus.

3. show up to pick your teen up in an outfit that closely resembles what they are wearing. Point out in front of their friends how "special it is that you match".

4. tell their friends stories of when you were their age. include things like "I was so cool..." and "I can remember what it was like to be your age..."

5. put together a small album of naked baby pictures. Keep it handy if dating curfews are not strictly met.

6. in front of your teen ask cute cashiers or wait staff if they have a boyfriend/ girlfriend (my mother would do this to me).
Well, that's all I can come up with right now (I'm exhausted today from puppy). I would love to hear your input!

19 comments:

rxBambi said...

Ummm, I already do all that because I'm a young and hip mom and just want to be one of the teenagers. We like to hang out and pretend like we're sisters...

LOL JUST KIDDING!!

I have a good one, be chaperons at dances and actually GO OUT ON THE DANCE FLOOR AND DANCE!! Same goes for parties. It works

One Cluttered Brain said...

I LOVE 80's music!!! Crank it up girl!!! LOVE it! My day of teenagers will come, My oldest is 10...

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

all my parents had to do was stand within 100 feet of me and that pretty much did it

Kimi said...

I really have nothing to add but that story is a classic!

Daffy said...

Don't know that I could add much to your list. You seem to be on top of it LOL... my girl is only 14 months but I'm already collecting "BLACKMAIL" photos. I'm hoping they will come in handy you know, "Sure, you can go out with him if I can show him this book of photos first".

My husband thinks he is going to follow her around and hide in bushes at the places she goes. You could always try that - pop out of the bushes with your flash light and spy gear - "Just checking to make sure everything's okay. Need your nail clippers for anything? No? Okay...."

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

Talk about your sex life in front of them!! I am saving this list...those years are right around the corner for me!

Lucky Girl said...

Just taking up space on the planet used to do it...now that they're grown, I am in a lull, but I figure in a few years when I start going out in public in my pj's (wait I already do that), well I'll think of something..

shortmama said...

That is so stinkin funny about the lady with the curlers...I would totally do something like that to my kids

blueviolet said...

I admire that mom's tactics! That was brilliance!

McGillicutty said...

I've heard of parents banning their teen from wearing makeup for a week or making them wear scrubs to school.

Dancing to the 80's music in the car is something we do now and the girls love it but they're still little and idolize us.

Coolkayaker1 said...

Dad show up at your teen's summer pool party wearing Speedos and needing a Brazilian wax.

Reminder for Geneva denizens:
http://coolkayaker1.blogspot.com/2009/10/scary-authors-night-tomorrow-at-geneva.html

P.S> You're new dog is cute.

Shannon said...

Oh I love it! I have a son named Jordan so the whole time I was reading that I could just see his face! I almost wanna go up to school tomorrow and try it out but so far noone in our house has been in rehab and I do that, I might break our record? Outside of school though....whole other story..I can come up with LOTS OF IDEAS! It's almost TOO EASY!

Coolkayaker1 said...

His school has a swimming pool?

Kari said...

Oh my gosh! This is hilarious, I love it!

Tami G said...

OMG - i'm so glad you visited me - so I could come visit you!!!!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE This post AND the one about the poo! FREAKING GREAT!

I am your newest STALKER...or follower - whichever you prefer! LOL

HAve a GREAT Friday!
Tami G

Anonymous said...
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Jessica said...

Holy cow....... That's all I can say.....

Pam said...

Best laugh out loud moment today. Jordan's mom is my hero! I wonder if I would have the courage to do such a thing. I'm not sure about that, but I will keep it in mind.

Amanda said...

Oh my gosh!! I can't stop laughing!!! I can't even imagine!!! hAHAHA!!!!