Thursday, April 8, 2010

I will die! if you don't....

"Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."

I first saw this quote when my Nae was a toddler. A friend had it framed and hanging in her kitchen. This friend is one of those mom's who seems to have it all together, all the time. She took me under her wing when I was a young single mom who didn't have a clue about anything, let alone being a good mom. She taught me a lot not only by word but by example. I would watch her with a kind of awe.

There's nothing that I ever wanted more than to be a good mom. It's obviously a hard thing to measure and one of my many weaknesses is being extremely hard on myself. Believe me, there's no one more critical of what I think, say or do than the little voice in my head.

It's also extremely dangerous to ask your teenage kids what they think of your parenting skills. I can't tell you how many broken hearted mom's I've heard recalling what their child said when they asked this question. Of course most teens will have a list of ways you can improve. They spend all kinds of time thinking about how unfair their parents are and how their life "sucks". It's a teen thing. In reality they are immature, have little life experience, and have no idea of the emotions, situations, or choices you as an parent have to face. You are only setting yourself up if you ask them that question.

That being said, if I were to die today, I feel I've done a pretty okay job. Yes, I've made lots of mistakes and I have lots of weaknesses (especially in the discipline area, for example) but that's the beauty of having a second half. Where I am weak, The Hubby is strong. And vice versa, of course.

All this serious talk aside (yes, I'm rambling) I think that if my "Wonder Mom" friend were to see me now, she would see that I have failed miserably when it comes to her quote. I hang my head in shame, as I admit, I am one of those parents who are constantly running things to their kids that they forget. Lunches, field trip money, gym get the picture.

Yes, I've read all about the damage I am doing by allowing this. You don't need to tell me.

Each of my kids are forgetful (or unorganized) to a certain degree. Nae~only when she was overwhelmed, Bud~very rarely, Tony~once every couple of weeks maybe, and then there's Mac~oh! Mac!

The quote above seems to be written just for kids like Mac. You know, kids who are on the "dramatic" side. Most of the phone calls I get from Mac regarding this subject are frantic. Here's how one went that I got yesterday....

"Mom! I forgot _______! I will DIE if I don't turn it in today! I'm serious I will DIE! Will you please bring it?!!"

Mac has been working in the counseling office at school this semester. She was working when I went in there yesterday on this "emergency forgotten item" call. All the office ladies had obviously already heard of Mac's crisis.

"'re Mac's mom." the lady at the front desk said (I get this tone and look of sympathy a lot when first meeting Mac's teachers or coaches or friend's parents). All the ladies sitting at their desks behind her look up at me and nod their heads in some kind of understanding or something. (In Mac's defense, they all told me how much they love her and how much she makes them laugh.)

Mac rushes over from her desk and takes what she needs from me. Her friend Emily, is sharing her desk. She also thanks me for bringing it (so she wouldn't have to hear Mac lamenting all day about dying!!!).

That was yesterday, and wouldn't you know it, I get another call today. This one was more like "I will FAIL....blah, blah, blah"

I got the call right after she got to school this am. I thought to myself "I'll just jump in the shower and then run it over" but then on second thought.....

I went into the office this morning in my PJ's just hoping it would be the time when classes are changing. The ladies in the office seem so sweet and understanding (they DO work with teens all day).
I said "yes, I got another emergency call this morning. I don't want her to die!"
"Oh, well yes" she says in her sweet understanding voice "well, when does she need this?"
"Not until last hour" I said. "I could have showered first but I was hoping you guys could help me out. Could you just tell her how lovely I looked in my PJ's? Make it sound like I looked really embarrassing (I did). Maybe throw out the name of one of the cute boys in the school and say that I had a lovely conversation with him in the hall."

Who knows, maybe this will be the last call I get.


mommyto3kiddos said...

LOL...I'm sorry, but I was totally picturing the pjs and the conversation w/the cute teen boy in the hallway!!! I hope the nice office ladies really did relay your message. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when she heard that! :) Sadly, Micah is totally the same way...and I usually cave too. Oh well, you wouldn't have such fun stories to share if Mac knew you wouldn't come, because then she wouldn't be calling. :)

Brian Miller said... it! wonder if she will ge tthe message. smiles.

Daffy said...

Brilliant! Will you let us know how it works...IF it works?

Sewn With Grace said...

Just love it! Actually, I usually wear my jammies taking Maddie to school. I keep wondering what will happen when I get pulled over or the car breaks down. If she's in it, I"m dead either way! :)

Bossy Betty said...

I'm a semi-guilty mom when it comes to this stuff, but I only have boys and I think the drama factor is not quite as high with that species.

From Tracie said...

That is hilarious!! I can't wait to hear what happened!

Matty said...

I remember it well. First off, my mom would run things to school that I forgot. I remember one time I had no lunch or money, so she rode my bike to the school, not a short ride, just so I would have lunch that day.

And I can't even tell you how many times over the years I've helped my kids out in an "emergency".

I love how they're always dramatic about it. Mine were too.

Baino said...

Love the drama queen. Mine are forgetful and often come back into the house two or three times before departing for the day but I've never run after them. I even forgot to pick my son up on his first day of school! Brave attempt at a solution there! Kudos for arriving in your pj's! And you're right being a parent is the hardest thing I've ever done. Being a single parent probably helps, no playing one off the other and I'm judge, jury and executioner. . hey they survived! Now, how do I get them to move out?

Pam said...

My oldest daughter was just like Mac. All through elementary school, middle school and freshman year of high school, I was constantly running things to school for her. And many times I was in sweats, with unbrushed hair and slippers on. That did not deter her. I finally told her I would not, under any circumstances, bring anything to school for her again. About 2 days later she called for a forgotten assignment. I knew she would get a zero and it would effect her grade. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do, but I held my ground. And surprise, surprise, she has never forgotten anything since (she's a senior now). It all sounds so simple now, but at the time it was the hardest thing I ever did. I should have done back in elementary school.

blueviolet said...

I know those calls! I remember them so clearly. My kids do still remember the things I did to tick them off, but they tell me now that I'm an awesome mom. And you know what...they're both super close to me and I think that says it all right there.

rxBambi said...

That is so funny. I so feel your pain tho. I've never been in my pj's but I usually go after work out so I'm totally gross either way.

did it work??