Thursday, February 18, 2010

the unwanted theater experience

http://myhaven.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/movie-theater.jpg


I finally broke down and went to see Avatar last weekend with my friend Gigi.
We decided to splurge and go to the IMAX.

I figured by now there wouldn't be too many people in the theater.
Boy, was I wrong!

Gigi and I got there early and listened to one of the guys who worked at the theater talk about the best place to sit in order to get the "best IMAX experience".

We picked our seats and all was well.
Then the theater started to fill....and fill....and fill.

Just as the theater lights were dimming a man and his wife scooted in front of us sat down next to me.

And I immediately noticed a horrible smell.

It was a combination of strong cigarette smoke and really horrible body odor. I thought to myself, "It will be okay. I can take it". That thought lasted about 30 seconds before I realized I couldn't do it.

So I scanned the theater to look for a new seat. It was packed. There were no seats anywhere.

I decided to try and put on some of my Bath and Body Works lotion to try and alleviate the stench. I nonchalantly applied it under my nose and around my mouth. It didn't helped much.

Then he started to cough a smokers cough of a magnitude that affirmed his habit. I'd estimate about 3 1/2 packs a day hacking.

Yeah. all with out covering his mouth.

Luckily, he only did this a few times but then there was the constant wheezing that accompanied each breath. By the time the previews were over, I had diagnosed him with emphysema.

I was praying under my breath that the movie would be really loud, otherwise I would never get my ADD mind to focus with all these other sensory distractions going on.

I'm pretty sure I sound intolerant, I don't mean to be.
Maybe it because of my ADD mind and having a hard time with distractions but this explains why I don't go to movies very often. I hate paying for the "theater experience" ($14/ticket) and getting more "theater experience" than I want.

You know,
~cell phones ringing, or the light of cell phones flashing while people text (which btw, according to some teens I've talked to recently, is perfectly acceptable to do in theaters because "it's not ringing!")
~people talking through the whole movie
~babies crying (never could figure out why people do that-bring a baby to a movie)
~people kicking you in the head when they rest their feet on your seat
~and now something I had never thought of before or experienced--hacking smelly wheezy people sitting right next to me coughing on me. YUCK!

I did finally get absorbed enough in the movie to forget the guy next to me but it took awhile. I'm going to say that it was worth it this time.
There are some movies you just have to see on the big screen.

19 comments:

Mrs Montoya said...

Oh man - you're a trooper. I have issues with the movies for all the same reasons you describe and I am not sure I'd have survived the stink and the coughing. I'm glad the movie was worth it!!

Brian Miller said...

so not only did you get eye poping visuals but you got the sens-o-experience. yeah, i might have liked to do without as well.

McGillicutty said...

I don't like the whole movie experience either.. I would rather just rent it at home... much nicer atmosphere!!!!

blueviolet said...

I can tolerate most anything for a short period of time but body odor? That is a no can do! It gives me a day long headache!

Deborah said...

OMG, That is horrible. I would have been freaking out with him coughing all over me! I HATE THAT!
I'm glad you enjoyed your movie though!

I Love Pretty Little Things said...

Now that is a frustrating movie experience! Oh man, the whole stinky thing is just too much! I have done the same lotion on my nose trick, which does help, but YUCK!!!
My pet peeve of all time is when people eat loudly. Those chewing and smacking sounds almost do me in!

Barb said...

Sorry you had that experience. I've been there myself. I'm glad in the end you were able to enjoy the movie. We've been going to the hockey games lately and I've gotten stuck next to people who were considerably larger than their seat. I hate that!

happygal said...

Oh yeah, I would have started out all passive aggressive and ended up downright rude. You handled it well.

tea said...

I'm glad you were able to enjoy your movie afterall. I wanted to thank you for your most recent comment on my blog, it really meant a lot to me and helped me. Thanks! :)

Matty said...

I do not envy you there. I go to the movies often, and I rarely if ever have to deal with a full house. I'm not quite sure what I would have done there. Maybe go back out to the ticket office and get a refund and go another time.

And I agree with you about all those other distractions. People just don't have manners anymore.

ModernMom said...

LOL This is the kind of thing that usually happens to me! So glad I stumbled across your blog..your hilarious!

otin said...

I have seen previews for the movie, and for some reason, it looks like something that I could just not get into!

Cat said...

Hey Tori
saw you on "The Window at the very top" and decided to come over for a visit
this post cracked me up...I could almost smell the smells..ever since pregnancy my senses are so sensitive...that situation could of brought on some dry heaves for me..lol
glad you stilll enjoyed your $14 movie...it certainly was a worth while movie to see in the theatre!
See you around....
love and light
C

mommyto3kiddos said...

Well, I don't know if I would have been able to make it through sitting next to that guy. And I HATE it when people are talking on their cell phones or to each other during the movie. You're hear to watch a movie...not have casual conversation with your friends! If you want to talk during the movie, then rent it and watch it at home! Okay, so enough of my ranting.:) I'm glad you were able to mostly enjoy it. I've heard a lot of people say it is a good movie, but the previews didn't appeal to me. Maybe I'll rent it when it comes out on DVD.

mommyto3kiddos said...

Well, I don't know if I would have been able to make it through sitting next to that guy. And I HATE it when people are talking on their cell phones or to each other during the movie. You're hear to watch a movie...not have casual conversation with your friends! If you want to talk during the movie, then rent it and watch it at home! Okay, so enough of my ranting.:) I'm glad you were able to mostly enjoy it. I've heard a lot of people say it is a good movie, but the previews didn't appeal to me. Maybe I'll rent it when it comes out on DVD.

Erin said...

I love going to the movies and hate when people like that ruin it for me.

When I went to see The Blind Side a few months ago, a woman with her 1 1/2 year old sat next to me. The movie was an 8:15 show. Um, my kids are 4 years old and go to bed at 8:00. I'm not sure why her little one was made to sit through a movie. Either get a sitter or wait for it to come out on video!!! (or see it during the day)

Corrie Howe said...

Hum? Maybe I have ADD. Because I'm hyper-sensitive to noise, smells, people bumping me...Totally stresses me out. When I leave a place like this it feel like I've just stopped hitting myself with a hammer.

Michelle said...

I've had to move for lesser things. People smacking popcorn, gotta move. I can hear them chewing it too.

the phones distract me too...my DH is very careful to check his in his pocket cause he knows it bothers me. He never minds if we move either.

As for babies...I take my newborn, till about 9 months with me everywhere...they need me still. However, any time she fusses, I take her/him out. I dont EVER let my baby ruin the movie for someone else. There are children's movies for the older kids and would never take a child into an adult movie. Only the baby cause they will sleep through it.

Coolkayaker1 said...

Rulz of thumb: always sit in the front row of the upper seating section (not the front row of the entire theater). Always try to get an aisle seat.

And always....always always...try o watch a good movie on a home LCD with Bose. Want a big movie experience? Sit closer to the TV.

:-)